Same shit, different city
Do you want to see a sequel that continues the narrative of a good story? Or do you want to see the same film again but with one or two changes? If you are more interested in the latter, read on.
F/X 2 (1991)
Bryan Brown accepts another job to make something look less real by using his great movie "F/X" skills. Again, he utwittingly (or should that be half wittingly) becomes an accomplice to an actual murder. Again. When will this guy learn?
Jaws 2 (1978)
Just when you thought it was safe to have an original story. Basically the same film, but with more flares (of the trouser variety) and obviously not the same shark. Roy Schneider looks very embarrassed, as does the shark.
Death Wish 2 (1982)
The unluckiest man in the world returns for a second dose of personal tragedy (with three more helpings still to come). Luckily for us. Just don't get close to this man - you will surely be raped to death before you can say "Michael Winner".
Revenge of the Nerds II : Nerds in Paradise (1987)
The old trick, can't think of any ideas? Send them on holiday. Same film, different place - still shit.
Another 48 hours (1990)
The exact same film, the only difference is that this time Eddie Murphy was fat and Nick Nolte was thin.
The Karate Kid Part III (1989)
Somewhere between the end of the second film and the start of this one, young Daniel - the Karate Kid - has forgotten what karate is, how to recognise you are being manipulated and that Mr. Miagi is an old man, not the guy who bails you out at every turn and fights all of your battles for you. A film that only the worst kind of person could possibly enjoy.
Rocky II (1979)
Take the first Rocky film, shake it up, stretch it out and let Rocky win in the end. Done, sequel. The only entertaining moment is Adrian giving birth to a baby so hairy it looks like a chimpanzee.
As lazy a remake as you can imagine, each time it is on you yearn for Kevin to be beaten to death at the end by Joe Pesci in Casino mode.
Ghostbusters II (1989)
A classic cash in, ostensibly the same film. Ignoring the events of the first one, no one believes in ghosts any more and thinks the Ghostbusters are frauds (though that 100 feet tall marshmallow man will take some explaining) so they then have to start again, save Dana and put up with the "dick"(the Mayor's assistant this time instead of Walter Peck) putting them in a mental institution (instead of jail). This film also has a near carbon copy rehash of the "convincing the mayor" scene and incorporates "slimer" the annoying ghost from the cartoon. Lazy and cynical. The only bright moment to the film is watching just how uninterested and uncomfortable Bill Murray appears all the way through.
Home Alone 2 : Lost in New York (1992)
The same as the first but with loose morals. In the first film Kevin is driven by necessity, he becomes a housewife and a hero. In the second film he is driven by selfishness. Where as before he believed he had made his family disappear, this time he knows they are on the way to Florida, probably worried out of their minds that he has been killed, kidnapped or just lost in an airport on his own. So, when he realises he is in New York, does he hand himself to the local police to try and get reunited with his parents (whose Christmas he has ruined once again)? No, he decides to check into an expensive hotel and spend his dad's money on ice cream, videos and toys. He also fails to learn his lesson from the first film: If you see someone who looks like a scary murderer, they may be nice and save the day, again. As lazy a remake as you can imagine, each time it is on you yearn for Kevin to be beaten to death at the end by Joe Pesci in Casino mode.
Teen Wolf Too (1987)
In Teen Wolf, Scott Howard (Michael J. Fox) discovers that he is a werewolf, and what's more, he is much better at high school basketball, more attractive to women and perceived to be cool when he is the wolf. Scott then discovers that he has alienated his true friends and colleagues when he is the wolf and wins the final basketball match as the man and not the wolf. In Teen Wolf Too, the clever twist is that this time, it's Todd Howard (Jason Bateman) Scott's cousin. Todd goes to college (clever twist no. 2) and discovers that he is a werewolf, and what's more, he is much better at college boxing (Clever twist no. 3), more attractive to women and perceived to be cool when he is the wolf. Todd then discovers that he has alienated his true friends and colleagues when he is the wolf and wins the final boxing match as the man instead. Lazy. The filmic equivalent to series three of Little Britain.
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