Chrysler? You're Fired

Filling your vehicle with Five Star Idiots from The Apprentice isn’t exactly the smartest marketing move in the world…
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Filling your vehicle with Five Star Idiots from The Apprentice isn’t exactly the smartest marketing move in the world…

Sales of the Chrysler Grand Voyager were never really hitting the headlines to begin with, in fact I can’t think of anything good Chrysler have ever created. Perhaps if we were scraping the barrel, we could rewind back to the 1930’s and mention the Airflow and Airstream, a couple of classic American machines complete with white wall tyres, gaping front grills and runners for gangsters to cling to while simultaneously shooting up grocery stores with a Tommy Gun. But these models only seem cool because they’re retro and nostalgic. Get in a time machine and ask people of 1930’s America their thoughts on Chrysler cars and they would probably say ‘big, heavy hunks of shit’. Transport back to 2010 and the answers wouldn’t have changed a single bit.

So, if you had a brand that wasn’t exactly popular in the UK or Europe you’d probably go about getting some decent exposure, perhaps a spot of product placement on a primetime television show for example. Lo and behold, that’s exactly what happened but in a marketing slip-up akin to setting fire to your own pubes, Chrysler provided the transportation for perhaps the biggest twatsticks in history… contestants on The Apprentice.

Regularly filling your product with egotistical megalomaniacs and transporting them around London so they can make massive fuckwits out of themselves isn’t the best way to portray a positive image. But year in, year out Chrysler continue to provide logistical support to these business morons.

So now, whenever I see a Chrysler Grand Voyager driving around town I think to myself ‘the person behind the wheel has seen The Apprentice, created a deep, emotional relationship with the characters on-screen and gone out and bought the car as a result’ thus making the driver a complete fucking bellend too.

I can imagine no one else shares this same opinion but if you believe the psychology behind subliminal marketing, as I do, you’ll agree that placing your brand’s badge alongside the world’s largest retards is probably not a great idea.

More free branding information to follow soon…

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