Hollywood Dutch Oven

Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman's marriage lasted 32 days. He called it the biggest mistake of his life; in her autobiography, the chapter 'My Marriage To Ernest Borgnine' is one blank page.
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Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman's marriage lasted 32 days. He called it the biggest mistake of his life; in her autobiography, the chapter 'My Marriage To Ernest Borgnine' is one blank page.

Now screenwriter Caroline Thompson (Edward Scissorhands, The Nightmare Before Christmas) wants to make a short animated film about it for her website, SmallandCreepy.com.

"It’s called She Got Dumped, and it’s the story of their brief marriage", she told us. "Ethel Merman was known as 'The Dame of Broadway', and Ernest Borgnine was a very respected actor and then became a TV star. Anyway their marriage was very short-lived, not only because Ernest Borgnine had a deep affection for Dutch ovens – he would trap her under the covers and fart his life away – but his pièce de résistance, under the rubric of “Let’s have fun”, was he would make her lie down under a glass coffee table and he would crouch on the table and take a dump on her face. Is it fact? Well, it's a big rumour. And we’re gonna make a really cheap action-figure short for the website."

She Got Dumped is our most anticipated film of 2010.