The 10 Best Breaking Bad Quotes

As the final half of TV's greatest show returns this week, we rekindle our love for everyone's favourite meth dealers with our favourite Breaking Bad quotes so far (WARNING: SPOILERS)
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As the final half of TV's greatest show returns this week, we rekindle our love for everyone's favourite meth dealers with our favourite Breaking Bad quotes so far (WARNING: SPOILERS)


10) “This kicks like a mule with its balls wrapped in duct tape!” - Tuco Salamanaca

Tuco was one mental bastard during his short stint in the show, but he had to die, primarily because he was bat shit crazy. Before that anyway, Jesse pays him a visit with his recently cooked meth and allows him a taster, just to test the standard. Of course, Tuco likes, as the quote from him suggests, while allowing Jesse and Walt to realise the quality of the product that is available to them.

9) “Darth Vader had responsibilities. He was responsible for the Death Star.” - Badger

Well, they couldn't not have a Star Wars reference in, could they? Season three, episode nine and Jesse has to have the RV, in which him and Walt regularly cooked, crushed. Pinkman is in somewhat of downhearted mood at a deli with friends Skinny Pete and Badger. It's coming at a time when Jesse is looking to sell again and is underreports a batch's weight in order to steal some of the product him and Walt had produced in the lab, hinting it was better cooking when he used the RV rather than under the watchful eye of Gus Fring.

8) “Sitting around, smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute 'plans.'” - Walter White

From the episode '4 Days Out' - season two, episode nine - Walt is attempting to convince Jesse to head into the desert to cook meth for an entire weekend, something Pinkman is wholeheartedly against, insisting he has 'plans'. Cue Walt tearing into his business partner, while quashing the dreams of every keyboard warrior, and persuading Jesse to cook the biggest batch of product up to that point in the show.

7) “You are not the guy. You’re not capable of being the guy. I had a guy, but now I don’t. You are not the guy.” - Mike Ehrmantraut

When Mike's “Guy” is killed, he begins taking Jesse with him on his little escapades across the state. Pinkman explains to Walt that he's their to protect Mike and that he's become the new “Guy”. Of course, Mr Ehrmantraut takes it upon himself to pull over to the side of the road and explain to Jesse that he is not the “Guy”, a statement that leaves him shellshocked.

6) “We’re all on the same page. The one that says, if I can’t kill you, you’ll sure as shit wish you were dead.” - Jesse Pinkman

The premiere of season four, following the death of Gale and we're in the lab. Walt is nervously rambling to Gus in a bid to save his and Jesse's life before he proceeds to slit Victor's, Mike's former “Guy”, throat in front his cooks. In true Gus fashion, he allows his former employee to bleed out before silently changing and, as a he reaches door of the lab, nonchalantly says: “Well? Get back to work”. The next scene sees Jesse and Walt over breakfast, with the former explaining the message that Gus has all but enforced on the pair.

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5) “Look, let's start with some tough love. You two suck at peddling meth. Period.” - Saul Goodman

After Walt undergoes tests to determine how much of his cancer is in remission, Skyler suggests a weekend away to take their minds away from the results. Instead, Mr White tells her he's off to see his mother to inform her of the tumour. However, it's but a lie in order to cook more meth for two days straight after Saul Goodman informs them of their inability to sell their product after making just $16,000. At episode nine in the second season, it's a defining point for Walt and Jesse as they realise they need to step up their game to make a profit and proceed to cook $1.34m worth of meth.

4) “It says, ‘TO W.W., MY STAR, MY PERFECT SILENCE.’ W.W., I mean, who do you figure that is? Woodrow Wilson? Willy Wonka? Walter White?” - Hank Schrader

The only line used in two separate episodes: Gale is dead and Hank believes he was the ever elusive 'Heisenberg', only for Walt to intervene and insist his prodigy was nothing more than a novice. Upon looking at the lab notes, Walt notices a Walt Whitman poem and dedication to match: “To W.W. My Star, My Perfect Silence,” which has Hank jokingly going through a list of suspects, Walter White being one of them. That was during the fourth episode of season four, before Hank has a flashback when picking up the book Gale handed to Walt while aptly sat atop a porcelain throne, before connecting all the dots and...well, that was how we're left in limbo following episode eight of season five.

3) “I fucked Ted” - Skyler White

At this point - season three, episode three - we already know that Skyler is a bitch. A massive bitch. A super, turboturding bitch. Walt has already been kicked out of his home, but insists on moving back in. Skyler calls the police, but there is little they can do, ergo Mr White stays at the house. On the hunt for revenge, she finds Ted in the canteen of Beneke Fabricators before kissing him. Back at home before dinner, Walt is making small chat with Skyler before she cracks out the above line, thus the title of the episode 'I.F.T.' being realised. Walt is speechless following the news, while the respect for his wife goes up that one tiny, insignificant iota, even if she is one massive cock juggling thundercunt.

2) “You clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot, and you think that of me? No! I am the one who knocks!” - Walter White

Possibly the one quote that allows the viewers to see how much of a badass Walter White really is - not that we didn't know that already. Season four, episode six and Walt has just left a voicemail for Skyler declaring his love for her and the kids in the fear that he may be about to die. Following the death of Gale and the link between the shooting and the crystal meth operation, she hints and calling the police, at which point Walt goes absolutely biblical on his wife and lets her know who's in charge.

1) “If you try to interfere, this becomes a much simpler matter. I will kill your wife. I will kill your son. I will kill your infant daughter.” - Gus Fring

We all know Gus was one hardcore motherfucker, but this all but reinforces the theory behind it. Following the exploits in Mexico involving him, Jesse and Mike, the former pairing make back for Texas on foot, during which Pinkman insists he won't cook again if Walt is killed. Later in the episode, Mr White is hooded and taken to the desert where he is greeted by Gus looking down on him, with Walt declaring that “If you could kill me, I'd already be dead”. However, the above line goes to show the ruthlessness of Gus and just how much of a malignant madman he really is.