Already dreading the monotony of twee family dramas and excruciating romcoms on TV this Christmas?
Fear not, because this week we bring you a murderous, creepy, limb chopping, anal sex obsessed, spontaneous human combustion filled, cybernetic, octopus eating, tooth twisting, criminally insane, dildo abusing, chest bursting,toilet swimming, cow punching, vomit eating- traditional TopFilmTip Christmas.
As ever, if you'd like daily tips for free films on TV you can follow us on Twitter @TopFilmTip or join in the banter and get preview tips @TopfilmChat.
Excavations unearth a reindeer eating, eviscerating, evil Santa and only a misfit kid and his friends can stop him. The single strangest and most wonderfully creepy Christmas film you will ever see- Freaky Finnish comedy horror RARE EXPORTS plays at 1am on Channel 4.
Coffin punching, eye plucking, bucket schlepping, 5-point-palm-exploding-heart-techniquing Kung Fu film homage when KILL BILL: VOL 2 gives you lessons in bedtime parenting skills at 10pm on BBC3.
A lecherous drunk and his foul mouthed dwarf partner in crime scam shops, squat in occupied mansions, take advantage of children and enjoy a penchant for larger ladies in the lowbrow, repugnant and utterly hilarious Christmas gem BAD SANTA at 9pm on Channel 5.
Buddhist ziggurats, murder, acupuncture tricks and spontaneous human combustion in the bonkers Chinese fantasy epic DETECTIVE DEE: MYSTERY OF THE PHANTOM FLAME at 00:50am on Film4.
James Cameron brings his inspirational fever dream to life in the iconic, groundbreaking cyborg shooting, windscreen punching, police station demolishing classic 80s SciFi- THE TERMINATOR at 10pm on SyFy.
Inexplicably released after 15 years imprisonment, a man wreaks live-octopus eating, hammer bludgeoning, tooth twisting, tongue chopping bloody vengeance in Korean master work OLDBOYat 11:20pm on Film 4.
Depicting the strange life of a man with a dream to rob a bank and spend his life behind bars. Tom Hardy stars in lesser known British crime treat BRONSON at 01:40am on Film 4.
A Hot altgirl makes the world her own using only a laptop, a needle and a dildo. Top Swedish thriller THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO airs at 10:30pm on Channel 4.
Gorgeously imaginative, sweet and heartfelt. A Beautiful family love story regarding a 5 year old boy and a magical fish who really likes ham. Studio Ghibli wonder- PONYO plays at 1:10pm on Film 4
Ridley Scott gives master class in (1) genre definition (2) exquisite direction (3) inducing fear (4) twisting expectations (5) masterful suspense in chest bursting SciFi treat ALIEN at 11:10pm on Film 4.
In a strange and distant dystopian future, buff people are humiliated on TV for public entertainment. Based on a Stephen King Novella, Arnie runs a rampage in THE RUNNING MAN at 11:30pm on Film 4.
Escaping an abusive marriage, a mother moves with her children to a free loving, counter cultural 1970’s Swedish commune in atypical drama TOGETHER at 01:25am on Film 4.
Two former lovers, by chance, reunite in a mature, evocative and beautifully romantic sequel from Richard Linklater BEFORE SUNSET at 11:25pm on TCM.
Freaky head twisting babies, public toilet swimming, unexpected surprises the morning after, a lot of smack and a cracking soundtrack in British gem TRAINSPOTTING at 11:25pm on Film4.
A twisted woman and a broken man become besotted with each other in the equally intellectually innovative and sickeningly gory J-horror AUDITIONat 01:20am on Film4.