Running over squirrels, throwing up on your first love’s little brother and jizzing all over your mate’s car. It’s all in a day’s work for the Inbetweeners- a motley crew of talented young comedians who taught us to embrace our inner school kid.The show stars Simon Bird who plays the socially inept Will McKenzie, Joe Thomas as the bequiffed hapless lover Simon Cooper, James Buckley as the potty-mouthed Jay Cartwright and Blake Harrison as Neil Sutherland, the lanky sex fiend with a distinct lack of common sense.Everyone had a Neil, Jay or Simon when growing up and things hit home even more when you chuck in the all-too recognisable scholastic surroundings, the short ties and slightly psychopathic head of sixth form.
Nostalgia is the rich vein writers Damon Beesley (also known for his work on Kiwi musical comedy Flight of the Conchords) and Iain Morris have tapped into. The episodes might not set the comedy world alight with their sometimes wooden acting and slapstick content but they hit a funny-nub that so many of us can relate to.
The final episode aired on the 18th October and it may have lubricated a few eyeballs as the boys said farewell to Simon, whose parents are upping-sticks to Swansea, but the legacy of the lewd school boys lives on in everyone who had the pleasure of attending a middle-of-the-road state school with a load of like-minded idiots. Whether it’s embarrassing yourself in front of the school eye-candy or driving your very rubbish car into a lake, we’ve all got our own Inbetweeners moments. Here is just a selection from a few red-faced retroists…
Steve, 27, Suffolk
“The school years were among some of the most chilled-out, enjoyable and hilarious years of my life. Take our A-level English class for example; it was stuffed with sexually charged males, none more aggressively horny than Tom, the guy who sat next to me. Tom had got into a weird habit of stretching the fabric of his trousers over his erection so you could almost see every vein of his member, tapping me on the shoulder while simultaneously nodding to his bulge, making me cop an unwanted eyeful of his nylon-covered cock. It all came to a shameful end the day Tom was busily crafting an immaculate dick tent, neatly distending the fly of his trousers to highlight his proud manhood only to look up and find our young and massively embarrassed English teacher hovering over his shoulder. She’d unfortunately witnessed the entire routine and was almost hyperventilating with a mixture of shock and sheer shame-facedness. Tom never did make me look at his crotch after that or look our English teacher in the eye for that matter.”
Tom, 28, Kingston
“Like the Inbetweeners lads, our class was subjected to various school trips. Perhaps the most memorable was when the school stupidly shipped a pack of idiot boys out to France for an injection of culture. We were immediately set an Apprentice-style task to visit the local rustic market, converse in the native tongue, purchase some local produce and present our foodstuffs to the teachers back at the hotel. A lad named Jamie Hills took the instructions slightly too literally and bought a live chicken. I swear our French teacher actually shat herself when he pulled it out of a plastic bag back at the hotel. To make matters worse a lanky bloke in my French dorm room snapped his bed in half while having a particularly aggressive wank over some filthy playing cards. Obviously the teacher on duty had to investigate where the loud noise came from, thus discovering gangly lad with cock in one hand, pieces of broken bed in the other.”
Luis, 27, Bath
“The sixth form house party was like a rite of passage and they were even better when they were hosted by the daughter of the head of economics at our school. Me and a group of friends drunkenly stumbled into the kitchen only to find an A4 piece of paper with all of our teacher’s phone numbers stuck to the fridge. Much drunken encouragement later and we were dialling numbers and giggling hysterically. The first victim was Mr Snowden, an ex-copper turned IT teacher, he picked up so we blurted the first thing that came into our heads: “We’ve got your kids and we want a ransom." The second victim was Mr Opie, the games teacher, unfortunately he was asleep so a long-winded voicemail would have to do, a voicemail that stated we’d also kidnapped his children, wanted a ransom and needed to arrange a rendezvous to make the exchange. Now being an ex-copper it didn’t take very long for Mr Snowden to deduce the culprits, mainly by recognising our voices and the fact that everyone was shouting about it on the Monday back at school. The result was an in-school suspension. Two weeks sat in silence in the library while people pointed and laughed.”
Tom C, 27, Norfolk
“I loved Jay in the Inbetweeners, the way he would unleash a barrage of the most disgusting dialogue and get away with it was brilliant. Things don’t really work like that in real life, which I discovered while at a typically shit school party at my local rugby club. I found myself on the podium in front of the DJ both, grinding up against a lady I’d been obsessed with for months. Things were going great and I was classically nodding and winking at my friend dancing next to me. Things escalated and before I knew it I was simulating all kinds of sexual acts behind my dance partner, much to the amusement and delight of friends around me. Things took a turn for the worst when I decided to lean into my friend and exuberantly exclaim “I’d love to smash her up the arse!” just as the massively inept DJ crash-mixed the song, plunging the entire room into silence. She heard everything, looked at me like I was sub-human scum, walked away and never spoke to me again.”
Do you have a great Inbetweeners story from your school days? We'd love to hear it so let us know below. Obviously the filthier the better...
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