In what we hope will become the regular feature, we embark on a detailed journey through English football's best and worst moustaches.
We start at Tottenham, where we have some magnificent examples of moustaches from the seventies and eighties. They don't make them like this any more.
10. Mitchell Thomas
Mitchell attempts a wraparound moustache to compliment the flat-top hairstyle, but doesn't quite manage to pull off the Eddie Murphy/Arsenio Hall look that he aspires to.
9. Gerry Armstrong
The Northern Ireland forward's 'tache is just a tad too wispy and fails to draw the attention from his out of control hair.
8. Terry Naylor
Terry Naylor attempts to pull off that trickiest of tricks: the blonde moustache. Whilst he must be praised for not producing ginger facial hair, the finished article ultimately lacks definition.
7. Joe Kinnear
Joe goes for the Eddie Shoestring look and pretty much pulls it off. The modern day Kinnear would benefit from taking as much care with his image.
6. Chris Hughton
Where Mitchell Thomas failed, Chris Hughton succeeds. Note the suggestive curl of the moustache around the lips. Hughton is every inch the player.
5. Terry Yorath
Just as Hughton schools Thomas, Terry Yorath shows Terry Naylor how it's done, as he rises above the 'dumb blonde' taunts with this facial-hair-behemoth. Yorath looks as if he should be on a viking longboat somewhere.
4. Glenn Hoddle
Hoddle was the pin up of the Spurs team during the eighties and here he shows how a moustache can add a hint of danger to his boy next door looks, as he's transformed into the perfect cad.
3. Ricky Villa
Often known to sport a moustache in tandem with full bushy beard, when Ricky decides to fly solo he proves that he can handle a 'tache of true distinction. Would not look out of place in a Robert Rodriguez movie.
2. Alfie Conn
Notice how the moustache joins the sideburns and provides a perfect compliment to the wild hair. This look somehow encapsulates the rebellious attitude of the player.
1. Ossie Ardiles
A true classic of this genre. A generally non-'tached player grows a mo that is absolutely magnificent. Dark, well-shaped, lustrous... this moustache has it all. This small section of facial hair may well be the greatest achievement in the life of Ossie Ardiles and we're talking about someone who once won the World Cup.