The world and his wife know that Manchester United need reinforcements in the centre of the park, they could do worse than have a look at this lot...
1. Sandro Rainere – Tottenham Hotspur
I got a bit of abuse for saying this on my last article, but I still think he’d be a good signing. The argument against signing him is that he doesn’t start for Spurs and that he is not consistent enough. Time however is on his side; he is only 22 about to break into the Brazilian national team along with a couple of injury prone wingbacks. He’s a beast of player, perfectly suited to sitting back and putting tackles in.
2. Bastian Schweinsteiger – Bayern Munich
The talisman of Bayern and Germany, he’s still relatively young (27) despite seemingly being around forever. Convincing him to leave would be difficult, but brown envelopes full of money might help. Six feet tall, an eye for scoring spectacular goals, another set piece expert.
3. Yohan Cabaye – Newcastle
He’s young, dynamic, exciting box-to-box midfielder; along with Tiote he’s worked miracles in Newcastle’s midfield which in September saw them lose their two ‘best’ players. Another player that won’t come cheaply, but shove enough money in Mike Ashley’s nose I heard he’ll send the player over in a helicopter for you.
It’s a cop out option, but it’s worked in the past, we just won’t win the Champions League this year (hang on, we’re out!?) and lose even more ground on Barcelona in the process. There’s always the chance that Gibson could come good, Carrick could realise his full potential and dominate the midfield and Pogba and Morrison might turn out to have a quarter of their hyped ability and everything will be fine. Failing that we could sign…
5. Wesley Sneijder
I know, I know I broke the rules, but no Manchester United transfer article is complete without good ol’ Wes (not Brown). Another predictable choice, but have you seen his banana passes? He’d cost the world, and hasn’t been “that” good since the 2010 World Cup, but surely after so much transfer speculation it’s best we just sign him now so everyone can concentrate on Robin Van Persie to City rumours next summer?
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