6 Things We'll Definitely See At Liverpool v Wolves

With both teams having suffered back-to-back defeats in the league something's got to give at Anfield today, and I expect Suarez, Bellamy, Kuyt and Downing to be given license to terrorise. That and Jamie Carragher haul someone down...
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In a way the two games against Wolves were Liverpool's most important fixtures last season. The 0-1 reverse at Anfield marked the end of the calamitous regime of Roy Hodgson while Dalglish recorded his first win at Molineux when a fine performance for Torres and a screamer from Meireles saw Liverpool run out 3-0 winners. For now though that means nothing, with Wolves wounded following two successive home defeats and Liverpool in a similar position after the Spurs horror show.

The camera panning to Andy Carroll everytime Craig Bellamy does something good.

Unless, of course, Carroll starts, which would be a grave mistake. Wolves are well equipped to deal with diagonal balls from full-back aimed at the Tractor but as the losses to Spurs and QPR showed, they struggle when teams stretch the pitch and get in behind the full-backs. Bellamy was ace against Brighton midweek, and expect a fluid front four of Downing, Bellamy, Suarez and Kuyt to interchange at will and terrorise Wolves leaden footed defence.

Mick McCarthy booting a water bottle / mascot / linesman

I once interviewed Mick. He was meant to record a message for a Sporting Bet project. Bowling into the room, he said, 'what do you want me to say?" I replied that I had it typed out to which he said 'no-one writes my scripts for me'. He then dawdled about for a minute, sat down, and said so what is it you want me to say? I told him and he said 'well you better write it down then.' Priceless. A proud man and ex centre half of rugged proportions, you can tell it kills him to see bad defending and I bet the Wolves players have received a shellacking this week. Should Liverpool's fluidity encourage a mistake or two, Mick will go doolally on the sideline and volley whatever is in range. It's a good job Sammy Lee isn't still at Liverpool, his tomato head would've been in danger.

By then had bought us both Liverpool kits as he didn't want us to suffer the pain of supporting a team in the fourth division with two dilapidated stands and 11 dilapidated players

Jamie Carragher hauling someone down

He can't help himself at the moment, it's like he's ingested the spirit of an Octopus in pre-season and is desperate to put his tentacles on every forward who comes near Liverpool's area. No one wants to say but if last season he was shaky then this season his legs seem to have been filled with iron. The problem is that he doesn't have anyone pacy alongside him, especially with Agger out with a cracked fingernail again, and the sight of him on the deck, screaming blue murder after giving away another penalty could be a regular occurence over the coming months.

Steven Gerrard doing something ridiculous

In fact, not even that ridiculous. Whether or not he snaps into a tackle, launches a 70 yarder in the vague direction of the forwards, scores a screamer, b*llocks Lucas or tongues Craig Bellamy the commentator will say 'he's back you know..'

A Wolves fan, somewhere, telling this story for the 475th time

'It wor 1986 bab and we was in a terrible stayte, then we signed Steven George Bull from them lot up the rowad and everyrhink chaynged."

My Dad silently weeping somewhere at full-time

For reasons unknown to my brother and I (ok, he was embarrassed) my Dad didn't force Wolves upon us when we were the kids in the early-80s. He took us to see them, but by then had bought us both Liverpool kits as he didn't want us to suffer the pain of supporting a team in the fourth division with two dilapidated stands and 11 dilapidated players. While my brother will be straight on the blower to wind him up if Liverpool win, these matches fill me with a treacherous self-loathing that I can do nothing about. I support Bridgnorth Town first, Liverpool second and have a soft spot for Wolves. But what Can I do about it now? I'm 33,  live in Kent and go and watch Tonbridge Angels when I can't justify the trip to Anfield.

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