Blackburn Rovers have been a clucking disaster since poultry owners Venky's arrived. David Dunn however saw the upside of their arrival by unashamedly gorging on their chicken with all the acting grace of David Beckham's Goal 2 cameo.
Saturday afternoon. Ten to three. Deep within the bowels of fortress Ewood Park, the dressing room shakes as the cacophony of noise from above reaches a deafening crescendo. With another pulsating Premier League encounter imminent the blue and white clad warriors embark on their pre-match ritual. But what to make of this awe-inspiring overture? Does it involve a rousing speech echoing that of Russell Crowe’s Maximus Decimus Meridius in the opening battle scene of Gladiator? Does it echo the fearsome battle-cry of Gerrard Butler’s King Leonidas in 300?
It involves tucking into a plate of lukewarm tandoori chicken pieces before trotting onto the pitch and praying the next 90 minutes pass without a particularly violent dose of the squits taking hold.
I appreciate that the Blackburn players who appeared in this advert probably didn’t jump at the chance to advertise their employer’s top notch poultry products. But they are guilty by association and there are some notable candidates for nomination, not least Ryan Nelsen and Michel Salgado. However, my nomination is David Dunn. Firstly, given his performance in the pivotal ‘chicken stealing’ scene, it’s fair to say that George Clooney won’t exactly be bricking himself if he happens to stray upon this clip on YouTube. Secondly, for a player who has let himself go on the weight front a few times during his career, is such a pre-match diet really advisable? I think not. Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the only candidate worthy of the Ballon D’Oh award this year – David Dunn.
The Ballon D’Oh is Sabotage Times’ annual award for the world’s daftest footballer. To vote for this player leave a comment below. The player with the most comments/votes by November 25 will be presented with this prestigious award.
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