How To Make The John Daly Cheeseburger

Golf's John Daly executed his Tin Cup moment at the Australian Open on Wednesday, possibly bowing out of the game for the last time. Time to toast the Wild Thing with a burger he'd tee up for.
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Rotund redneck John Daly headed out of the Australian Open in spectacular fashion on Thursday. Here's the recipe to pay your own tribute.

He is one the golf’s most controversial figures and yesterday he stormed off the green for possibly the last time. After chipping his final 7 balls into the drink, we look back at the unconventional training habits of this former world champion.

Have you ever woken up in hospital after a suspected heart attack and decided to light a cigarette and order a cheeseburger?

Ever poured a full glass of bourbon over an entire chocolate cake and just buried your face in it?

If not, then it’s time to start practising your golf swing.

With the Australian Open teeing off this week, it would be easy to look back at some of the obvious legends of golf and prattle on about how great they were. Names like Tiger Woods, Nick Faldo, Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer just roll off the tongue. But do we really need another drawn out, sepia drenched montage, full of slow motion putting and husky narration? No. What we want is a story about a 280 pound “Big’Un” who drank and smoked himself senseless, lost 55 million dollars at casinos and spent a month in the Betty Ford Clinic. But who has still won three PGA tour titles and two majors – including the British Open.

Way back in 1995 a rotund, mullet haired American named John Daly unexpectedly won the Open at St Andrews in a playoff against Costantino Rocca. What makes this particularly notable is the fact that Daly had most recently spent three weeks in rehab and almost destroyed his hand, and career, when he drunkenly punched his fist through a hotel TV.

However, when you read through his life story, it’s no surprise that this self proclaimed “redneck” ended up becoming the big bad boy of golf. Growing up in rural Arkansas, John Daly’s mother lavished him with both love and a gut busting diet of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, hot biscuits, hamburgers, French fries and chocolate shakes. He celebrated his 17th birthday by demolishing 17 tacos in one sitting. But perhaps the most impressive example of his unconventional eating is how he described his daily routine in his autobiography.

The cigarette butt has gone, as has the flammable fug of whiskey steaming from every pore. Now we’re treated to his new mind-bending addiction.

“Wake up, breakfast from McDonalds, play golf, dinner from McDonalds, go to bed, then wake up and do it all again”

In an ironic twist, he once tried to go on a diet by expelling his favourite cheeseburgers and beer, only to end up replacing them with Jack Daniels and cigarettes. Two vices that became his trademark and his curse. The steady flow of alcohol throughout John Daly’s life makes for rather tragic reading. As does the gambling – a trait picked up from an early age when he hustled golfers “who figured they could kick the fat kid’s ass”.

But through it all, John Daly has still managed to pull off some remarkable career wins off the back of a ball shattering 300 yard drive. As it turns out, he mostly has his putting to thank for the British Open win. That - and a tournament diet of 10, yes 10, chocolate chip muffins a day.

These days, Daly has trimmed down thanks to lap-band surgery, but you can still easily spot him on the golf course. The cigarette butt has gone, as has the flammable fug of whiskey steaming from every pore. Now we’re treated to his new mind-bending addiction. Colourful trousers. Trust me, you can’t miss them. Just Google “john daly trousers” and you’ll be instantly treated to a bizarre collection of cat vomit fashion that is so loud it’s difficult to hear yourself think. No one knows whether he’s playing golf or entertaining at a child’s birthday party. But hey, at least he’s not living life in sepia.

Aftger yesterday’s meltdown at Coolum, it’s difficult to say whether we’ll see him again. So in tribute to the biggest winner of all– here’s how to pack some power behind your own 300 yard drive – with a delicious cheeseburger with homemade Jack Daniels sauce.

The burger:

  • Cook your burgers in a pan. 4 minutes each side for rare. 6 minutes each side for medium.
  • Then top with Monterey Jack cheese and finish under the grill.
  • Toast the buns under the grill at the same time.
  • Then stack the bottom bun with lettuce, tomato, raw red onion, the cheesy burger and grilled bacon.
  • Then pour over the Jack Daniels Sauce and place the top bun.

The sauce:

  • Gently fry 1 teaspoon of fennel seeds to draw out the flavours of the spice.
  • Then add a little olive oil, a small chopped onion and 1 crushed garlic clove and fry for a few minutes. Make sure you don’t burn the garlic. If you do, start again.
  • Then add a chopped chilli, 30g dark brown sugar, 25ml soy sauce, 2 shots of Jack Daniels whiskey and 150ml of tomato sauce
  • Stir it continuously until the sugar is melted. Again, don’t burn the sugar. It will taste like Daly’s old ashtray.
  • Season the mix with salt and pepper, and once it reaches a boil, take it off the heat and set it aside to cool.
  • I should point out, before I sign off, that being an obese alcoholic is not something we should all be striving for. There’s nothing smart about asking a hotel to open their gift shop in the middle of the night and send up every packet of M&M’s they have. Is there John?

So, as a person who’s worked in advertising for quite a while, I feel I should caveat all of this with those famous words. Please drink (and eat) responsibly.

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