Man United: Just Sign Ever Banega & Pretend Cleverley Never Existed
Argentine regista Banega is known as one of the very best passers of the ball in the modern game. Operating from a mostly deep-lying position and flinging balls all over the pitch like a quarterback (only this one looks like a matador), he has been running the Valencia midfield for years, while you've probably been busy defending Carrick's stats on Twitter or shielding your eyes from Tom Cleverley's hair/Tom Cleverley.
With the Guardian reporting that he could be off to fill a Lee Cattermole-sized hole at Sunderland, it doesn't half feel like a silk hat on a pig. No offence to Sunderland - a great club with great fans and beautiful women and cheap beer - but Banega is simply one of the best ball-players in the world.
Small, agile and biting in the tackle, Moyes should not only make an enquiry but get ready to drop to his knees and service his agent, stuffing dollar bills into his tailored-blazer's pocket in a magnificent football-flip on the classic trick/john situation.
Estimates suggest he'd cost around about £6million. That's peanuts, guys.