Manchester United Half-Term Report: Can We Sign Mesut Özil Please?

Ashley Young has disappointed, Vidic is out for the rest of the season and there was something about a 6-1 defeat. Still, the title race is far from over...
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Manchester United Half-Term Report: Skint And Bereft Of A Midfield

What’s going right?

Top two in the league, a young team with great potential, Rooney bang in form, the promise shown by Phil Jones and the imminent return of the ‘saviour of the midfield, Tom Cleverly. The 8-2 against Arsenal showed a vision of what can and might be achieved and throughout the ‘crisis’ (c. The media). We’ve still only lost one league game. Admittedly it was that league game.

The Europa League might be fun. We’ve never won it before, the games against Ajax promise much and we won’t have to get our a**** smacked by Barcelona again.

What’s not?

Out of the Champions league, skint, shown-up by Palace, bereft of a midfield, Vidic out for the season and that game against City. Plenty to go on but when it comes to what’s not right, it’s hard to look beyond the Glazers.

Ashley Young’s been a disappointment. He looked like a perfect fit against Arsenal but it seems it went to his head and his recent standards have found him out of the team. I always found him too much of a pointing-at-the-name-on the-back-of-shirt type for me. United need a big improvement from him and he should be demanding one from himself.

Someone should also be out trying to find out where the real Patrice Evra has gone.

Got the right manager?


Star player?

Rooney remains a class above everyone else. I was an advocate of his drop into midfield as he’s too creative to just be ‘wasted’ up front. To be fair he was the best midfield player in a red shirt when he played there but in the wider picture I was wrong as he’s far more potent playing more advanced. We need two of him. Obviously Jones has had an outstanding season so far and continues to impress, Nani’s Nani and Michael Carrick seems to be remembering himself.

The 8-2 against Arsenal showed a vision of what can and might be achieved and throughout the ‘crisis.’

Who would you like to sell in January?

Darron Gibson, obviously. We pretty much need everyone else even if they’re shite, so Anderson gets to stay. It’s a given that Michael Owen can **** off anytime though.

Who do you want to sign?

Mesut Ozil, Cesc Fabregas, Mario Goetze, Tomas Muller or Danielli Di Rossi. In reality we’ll probably sign a full-back from Palace, a 17 year-old from Cruz Azul and Tom Huddlestone, either on-loan or for £16 million (I wouldn’t mind signing Paul Pogba to a new contract too, before the blue Arabs offer him half an oil field).

Best chant so far?

You’ve got me there.

Best opposition player/team you’ve seen?

Tottenham are doing well...Newcastle have been go on then, **** you, it’s City, clearly and David Silva is as big a joy to watch as he must be to play with. I really rate Dzeko as well. The t**ts.

Biggest **** of the season so far?

Luis Suarez seems pretty unlikable. He’s a throwback to the cheating, dirty little gits that South American countries used to turn-out in abundance. His face doesn’t help his cause. I don’t buy into the Mario Balotelli thing either. The kid’s a c***.

End of season prediction?

United to win the league by dint of City blowing it. Please.

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