Jermain Defoe wants a PA and judging by the list of job requirements, he missed out a zero in the advertised salary of £60,000.
The lucky candidate must be adept at such varying skills as plant watering, building iPhone apps, fridge stocking and identifying sponsorship opportunities. The full incredible list is below but even better is the online tirade Defoe received from an angry Newcastle fan.
Newcastle podcast hosts Taylor and Besty annihilated Defoe on their Twitter account. We're not sure which of them was responsible for it (maybe it was their PA?) but it pretty much sums up how most football fans feel about Defoe's excessive requirements.