Aberdeen FC has had more than it's fair share of success, unfortunately it all happened in one decade - the 1980s - giving this generation of fans a ridiculously high level of expectation, so having Darren Mackie, a striker who scores 58 goals in 14 trophy-less years is pretty much a leveller to any hopes those fans had. That's 312 appearances, or one in five. The other four consisting of said fans face-palming for 90 minutes and wondering what kind of blackmail deal he had going with the latest manager.
4 down to Celtic? Get Mackie on!
Towards the end of his career with the Dons, Mackie suffered several injuries and setbacks, appearing mostly as a sub and becoming a recurring joke in the stands. 4 down to Celtic? Get Mackie on! His case wasn't helped by an ever-changing management team renewing his contract to the bemusement of supporters, accepting that the club could sign no better, or his position of Reading Champion at a primary school, where he admits: "I don't read books.." followed by "My favourite book is Lord of the Rings, although I haven't read the book I have watched the films." What? If he becomes a coach, maybe he could train goalkeepers: "I never actually played in goal, but I did score by being in the way of a goal kick once" Seriously, one of his most memorable moments was the ball ricocheting off his arse and going in. You can't teach that.
On the plus side, he scored a great winner in a UEFA qualifier against Dnipro Unpronouncable, managed double figures in 2004-2005 and when we loaned him to Inverness, he didn't score any, so, every cloud.
Other great articles about Non-Existent Nines...
Click here for more Football and Sport stories
Click here to follow Sabotage Times on Twitter
Click here to follow Sabotage Times on Facebook