6. The Swiss team Young Boys are a sub-editor’s dream but it was only when they moved to a new ground - the W**kdorf Stadium - that the pieces fell into place for a truly classic headline.
5. When the brilliantly-named Palmeiras defender Argelico F**ks made a transfer to Benfica, the editors at Eurosport were ready, willing and able to roll out this entirely accurate, if somewhat subversive headline.
4. Generally it takes a very specific, once-in-a-lifetime set of circumstances to arise before a classic headline can emerge. Like for instance, when Juventus - nicknamed ‘The Old Lady’ - failed to beat BATE Borisov at home.
3. When you’ve got a surname like ‘Seaman’ and are a famous footballer, then you’re destined for a lifetime of largely uninspired pun-based headlines. This daring effort rises above the dross and elevates the humble art of headline writing into an art-form.
2. Another player with a name that invites ridicule is Nicky Butt. So when Birmingham launched an investigation when he went AWOL, there was only one way for any self-respecting journalist to spin it.
1. The daddy of all football headlines is of course The Sun’s moment of genius masquerading as the headline for a Scottish Cup match report. We like to think that the sub had watched Mary Poppins in the preceding week and still had Julie Andrews' warbling knocking around in his head.