I'm sure there are far better goals that have been scored by Manchester United, in fact I know there are, but my favourite is Dimitar Berbatov's third of five against Blackburn last season. A very good day at the office for him, and for everyone who had him in their fantasy team. A very bad day for me who had just dropped him.
The match highlights of the goal just show the finish. But what makes the goal great is the Bulgarian's creativity. He starts the play by picking the ball up deep in his own half, not Berbatov's usual territory. He then passes the ball on, barely even breaking into a jog, another few casual touches at the halfway line puts the ball out wide. Nani cuts in dangerously, Berbatov wanders into the gaping hole in Blackburn's non existent defence and shoots with a finish that could only be cooler if he was smoking a roll up at the same time.
Last season I was worked at Old Trafford as a waiter. Which had its advantages, the shift where I got upgraded to work in the really posh suite owned by Giggs, Scholes and Owen is one, but also its obvious disadvantages, being at work when football is on.
So at the time of the goal I was clearing a table with a cheeky glance up at the screen every now and then to check the score. But this goal was one of those special moments where everybody seemed to stop and watch it unfold. In the biopic of my life, this crucial scene would have SUPER-SLOW-MO written all over it.
Berbatov is better than and should start ahead of Hernandez. Wait, what? With United's current one goal then park the bus fetish, he's perfect.
Only three other players have scored five goals in one match, Andy Cole, Alan “he goes in here and comes out there” Shearer and Jermain Defoe, very lofty peers indeed. I like to think that the FA provides them with a Gentlemen's Club in Mayfair which smells of well lacquered oak furniture. There's oil paintings of the their goals hung on every panel of the mahogany wall. And there'd be a rotation system of the North West's less glamourous football teams (you know: Wigan, Bolton, Blackburn, Liverpool) reserve squads to score countless goals past for fun.
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