#WhatsTheSurprise: Your Suggestions For The Olympic Opening Ceremony

Danny Boyle's opening ceremony has been shrouded in secrecy, with #savethesurprise doing the rounds on Twitter, but what will the surprise be? Danny Boyle sacking the whole thing off and just playing Trainspotting? We can but hope...
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"Robert Carlyle's Begbie will close the show by headbutting Boris" (Ste Turton)

"Olympic commitee lined up and shot by firing squad dressed as morris men'" (Colin Ebbrell)

"Tom Cruise, in a spaceship, kidnapping babies." (@Jonfaec)

"An exhumed Benny Hill chasing Babs Windsor around the stadium" (@Pollybirkbeck)

"Tactical nuke" (Michael Readman)

"Ken Barlow and Dev Alahan have a KY Jelly wrestling match to the death, with the winner getting to seduce Deidre later in the evening live on Channel 5..." (Anthony Williams)

"Gary Glitter performs" (@O_TheRed)

"The cauldron is being lit by dangling Boris upside down from a crane, setting fire to his hair and slowly lowering him in." (@NutcaseOReilly)

"Memorial match of Blockbusters in memory of Bob Holness #openingceremony" (@Dwiddick)

"a big mob of Spurs and the ICF having a tear up for the right to move into the stadium" (@MonkeyNorth)

"Phil 'The Power' Taylor throwing a lighted arrow to ignite the flame" (Thomas Conway)

"beckham kicks it off by volleying seb Coe in the nuts and Paul McCartney comes on and sucks them better." (@Rossi72)

"The entire Team GB wearing Kilts, face every other nation and lift their skirts!" (Colin Gilchrist)

"Word is Mitt Romney is going to be set alight and wheeled into the flame on the back of Bradley Wiggins' bike" (@The Windler)

"Boris and Ken will sing 'I Know Him So Well' to Daley Thompson." (@NotRollerGirl)

"A beefeater swimming in a big bowler hat full of tizer." (@MontyBodkin)

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