It was a season of struggle, and ultimately survival, for Wolves. But with wins against the big-boys there were also moments to cherish at Molineux.
The ‘I f******g love this game’ highlight of the season? –
In a season where we scraped survival by just one point, there were a surprising number of highlights. Man United, Chelsea and Man City were all sent packing from Molineux with no points (although I suspect a certain Man United winger consoled himself by sh*gging at least one local lass in the away dressing room before boarding the coach back to Manchester), but the most satisfying victory was undoubtedly the 3-1 win over local rivals West Brom. Albion fans were wetting themselves at the prospect of helping put the nails in our relegation coffin during our penultimate home game. But they left with their tails firmly between their legs after getting spanked in front of 25,000 jubilant Wolves fans.
The season ticket shredding moment? –
Nick Hornby said it best when making the analogy that supporting a football club was like being in a bad marriage that you could never walk away from. The moment when I truly felt like filing for divorce came against Blackburn at home on the final day of the season. In a must-win game, the away side stormed into a 3-0 lead in the first half to leave the Molineux masses absolutely stunned. I was, to put it bluntly, f*****g furious. Our defence would have made Ali Dia, the cheeky scamp who played for Southampton after duping Graeme Souness into believing he was George Weah’s cousin, look like Lionel Messi – we were that bad. But the crushing thought of playing Championship football was replaced with sheer joy in the second half as defeats for Blackpool and Birmingham kept us up.
Moment that just about summed it all up? - .
After more than matching Man United at Old Trafford, our p***-pot defence opened up like Imogen Thomas’ legs, allowing Park Ji-Sung to waltz through and score a last minute winner. The plastic United fans went mental while Mick McCarthy kicked a bottle of water in disgust.
Got the right manager? –
I got slaughtered a few weeks back by other Wolves fans for suggesting Mick McCarthy had taken us as far as he could, for which I make no apology. But I wasn’t surprised with the reaction after, shock horror, audaciously airing an opinion that didn’t fit in with the ‘happy clappers’. There is absolutely no question that Mick McCarthy is the best manager we have had in years. But there were times throughout the season where he seemingly lacked the tactical nous to win a round of Kerplunk, never mind a game of football. Can Wolves go any further under Mick or are we resigned to a relegation battle each season until eventually falling back into the Championship abyss? I expect it’s the latter, but irrespective of what I or other critics think, ‘Super Mick’ is here to stay.
Player of the season? –
I’m struggling with this one. The fans voted Matt Jarvis, who made his England debut this season, but he went missing towards the end of the campaign. Steven Fletcher hardly played (yet more evidence of McCarthy’s tactical genius) but he was still our top scorer this season with some vital goals during the run-in, so I’m going for the big Scot.
Mr Danielle Lloyd struck a peach of a shot into the top left corner
Muppet of the season? –
This accolade goes to the Wolves fans who ran on the pitch during the final home match against Blackburn and celebrated like they’d just been handed the keys to Hugh Heffner’s Playboy mansion. You wouldn’t have thought we’d just scrapped survival by the skin of our teeth the way that lot were bouncing up and down on the Molineux turf. Jelle Van Damme, our former Belgian left-back, also deserves a mention for leaving the club six months after his arrival. He apparently couldn’t settle in the bright lights of Wolverhampton – what the hell’s wrong with the man?
What would you change next term if you were the gaffer? –
Shore up the defence as our back four provided less protection than a leaky condom.
Which player would you like to sign? –
Roger Johnson or Scott Dann would be welcome additions to our backline.
Best goal? -
Jamie O’Hara’s against West Brom at The Hawthorns from 20 yards. After receiving a square ball from a free-kick just outside the penalty area, Mr Danielle Lloyd struck a peach of a shot into the top left corner right in front of the away fans.
Best laugh you had all season?
Watching Birmingham City go down at our expense was pretty funny, especially after their fans spent the latter part of the season crowing about some meaningless Carling Cup win. I’m sure that will provide comfort on those cold European nights in Azerbaijan. I also found a certain Welsh winger’s feeble attempt to sue thousands of tweeters and Wayne Rooney’s hair transplant rather amusing.
Biggest tosser? –
Danny Murphy for claiming sides like Wolves, Stoke and Blackburn were set up to injure opposition players. This coming from a bloke who left Karl Henry in a heap after elbowing him during the Fulham match at Molineux. The angelic Murphy also notched up eight yellow cards and more than 50 fouls – the dirty t***.
Most inspired chant? -
‘F*** off to Birmingham, the Black Country’s ours’ chant against the Albion made me smile.
How do you plan to get through the summer without football? –
I’ll mostly be watching episodes of ‘Fantasy Football’ on YouTube while drinking beer and eating copious amounts of Pringles.
Any other news?
We’re building a new stand to increase Molineux’s capacity and have another new home strip on the way, which will surely rank as one of the worst in the league next season.
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