There's a pigeon stuck in the chimney behind the fireguard. The missus is out. What do you do?

Keep telling yourself it's more scared of you than you are of it. Picture yourself as Ray Mears or the other one - Rambo. How would they handle it? 

Walk, no - stride over confidently, grab the fireguard like a bouncer holding a velvet rope, and calmly motion it towards the window. Maybe keep eye contact. Give it a nod and "alright son'. Too much? 

Right, here it goes.