The Best And Worst of Bingo Humour

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Throughout the world bingo is known as one of the most social games that you can play, both at a bricks and mortar bingo halls as well as online at top-quality sites like Bingosites.co.uk. Part of the pull of bingo is that you can meet up with friends there, make new ones and generally have a laugh whilst enjoying either a few games or a full session, and because the game is simple to pick up its perfect for playing when you are on the go.

Because of this social side to the game there have been some great bingo quotes and jokes over time. Below are some of the best (or worst) that we've heard so far.

Q: What do vampires play bingo with

A: Stake money!

Q: What do rodents say when they play bingo?

A: Eyes down for a full mouse!

Q: What do you call a lady who is addicted to gambling at bingo@

A: Betty!

And this is possibly the worst Blond Joke there can be so apologies to anyone who might be offended...

Tuesdays were Blond Bingo Nights down at the local bingo hall and this Tuesday had been what can only be described as pretty boring as not even on single person had enjoyed a BINGO all night long. Imagine now it’s the very last game which is up for grabs and there is a huge bingo prize up for the taking of £350,000. The game went on until very late until each and every Blonde had to be on for the big one. Finally, G-32 was called, but still, no shouts of ‘Bingo’ were heard, you could have heard a pin drop.

Frustrated, the bingo caller finally stands up, grabs the bingo machine and throws it off the stage!. All of the Blonds are shocked and just stare at him as he says ‘I’ve just called ever sing one of these balls out of this machine and not one of you has a Bingo?’ Tell my ladies exactly which number are you ladies waiting for?’ In unison all the 410 ladies shouted ‘FREE SPACE!’

As many regular bingo players know when you go to a bricks and mortar hall you have to swipe your membership card in order to ‘check on’ for the day, and the people that operate these machines have various messages that pop up like if there is an ID required, if it is that person's birthday or even if they are a banned member, but sometimes, just sometimes there is an error that pops up when a regular member has their card swiped on the system. This error message is also accompanied why what can only be described as a ‘strange’ sound.

Bingo Worker: I am so sorry there seems to be a problem.

Customer: Really, what’s wrong then?

Bingo Worker: (who is trying not to laugh) Well, the problem we have is that your card has been declined as you are....well, you are dead?

Customer: I’m dead?

This happens as when a member does die their card has to be changed by a manager from active to deceased and of course it’s easy to get a digit wrong!