10. Kim Kardashian
There's only one thing I like about Kim Kardashian. Whether or not her arse is fake, there's no denying that it is a formidable rump, one that caused Twitter to melt the morning she posted an instagram shot of it.
9. Beyonce Knowles
Stole J-Lo’s diamond encrusted butt-plug for most-beloved uber-celebrity arse around the time of Crazy in Love and, although she hides it under a bushel, it’s clear that her boot is filled with more that two guide ropes, a pair of football boots and dog-eared copy of the London A-Z.
8. Rita G
“I don't think Playboy has enough ass. But the best girl you had in the past three years has to be Rita G... She’s got an ass even white people like.” The words of known bullshit talker Kanye West about Rita G, who he also cast in his Flashing Lights video. She doesn’t watch TV, takes no alcohol or drugs and gets loads of sleep, so it’s probably a good thing her ass is a thing of beauty because she sounds as much fun as an enema with Hydrochloric Acid.
7. Anna Falchi
It was sometime in the mid-90s that I was alerted to the many talents of the Italian/Finnish MAW Anna Falchi and, despite her being semi-retired from modelling these days, the mere mention of her name leaves me unable to concentrate, and as for the picture above, let’s just say I wear glasses. Thick ones.
6. Nicki Minaj
You might hate her music, despise her wigs and worry about her penchant for dressing like an inter-galactic bag lady, but by Christ has Nicki Minaj got an arse that could crash a thousand ships. Rumous that she had a sex tape nearly broke the Internet.
5. Christina Hendricks
If you've seen Mad Men, you know the scene like the palm of your hand. In her signature red dress, Joan Holloway bends over to apply lipstick and leaves every man in the office drooling at the roundness of her rump. The best water-cooler moment in recent memory.
4. Vida Guerra
With enough best ass awards on her mantelpiece to make you wonder if she feeds from a nosebag and lives on Blackpool beach, Vida Guerra owes everything to her ‘fanny’ as Americans like call it. Came to prominence in the US FHM in 2002 and, unlike everyone she meets, has never looked back.
3. Serena Williams
Serena might have a claim to be the best female tennis player ever, but my favourite moment of any Wimbledon is when Barry Davies struggles to breathe as her skirt flies up to reveal what, on first glance, appears to be a pair of oversized-cycle helmets bound together with Gaffa tape.
2. Buffie Carruth
If there was a Heavyweight Booty Championship of the World then Buffie ‘The Body’ Carruth, measuring 34-27-45 (FORTY-FIVE) would be the Sonny Liston of bottle and glass. With Tasty tattooed on her right cheek, she is certainly in no doubt of the G-string quaffing majesty of her behind and has become a very rich woman indeed for having a rear that, in her dotage, will probably need its own shoes.
1. Tameca Freeman
With no love lost between her and rival Buffie, Tameca is, undisputedly, the Muhammed Ali of ass. Although I doubt she does much floating, Tameca is a sensation in America and, had she been at the Royal Wedding, Phillip and Harry would’ve no doubt shared a disgusting joke about rings and fingers and been slapped by the Queen.