All true.......I'm sure that you know what you can do if you don't like.

Come back home lad. Back to the North. Back to the friendliness, and the whippets.

I bought a glass of house white at the Covent Garden Hotel a few months ago and was charged £9.11. The resonance of that number was not lost on me; I kept the receipt.

I only read the first few sections of this post. I personally find the way 'northerners' go on about London(ers) or 'southerners' offensive and rude. I have lived in London for well over 35 years and never hear a Londoner mention the so called north/south divide. I have travelled all over the North due to work and they (like you) have been the only people to mention the north/south thing. Most people from the South have been brought up next door to people from many cultures and could'nt care about making judgements about people from the North. London is THE capital city and one the most renowed city's in the world. So why wouldn't we have part that are extravagant. We have plenty of cheap places too. Go wipe your cock somewhere that makes you happy, but don't stay in London if you don't like the people, places and all that it has to offer.

Eeeh that takes me back. Been there done that, came back home to Leeds. I enjoyed it for the most part, it's where the action is. Note to author, Rotherham is the midlands mate and ex-mining towns like Fev or Grimethorpe are anything but charming.

1. I think it's more complicated that just suggesting that London equals "the South". Similarly, being resident in London does not automatically equate to being Southern (a fact which you allude to at the start of your piece). In terms of clout, London stands alone and shouldn't really be considered as part of an amalgam with Lydd or for that matter, Henley. 2.£3.50 for a pint is nowt special in Manchester city centre either these days. Conversely, the Princess Louise on Holborn is still shifting Sam Smiths for under a couple of quid a pint. 3. East Midlands Trains operate twice an hour from St Pancras to Sheffield. Single fares from as low as £9.

4. They really need to get the formatting sorted on 'ere...

I took the 'if you don't like it then fuck off' advice. It's the simple things I missed about Yorkshire whilst in London: A proper pint, a proper pint at a proper price, pork pies, pie and peas, farm shops, proper fish and chips (i.e. haddock with no skin or bones, in proper batter, cooked in beef dripping) hills, countryside, greenery, the people, drivers who know what lane to drive in, being able to walk with a stride and not have to take little diddy steps because the pavements are so crowded, taxis that are plentiful and don't act like they're doing you a favour rather than their job at a massively inflated price... I never understood why Londoners complained about public transport though. There's loads of it. A bus every few seconds, and whilst the sewer trams are dirty and full of miserable bastards, they get you from A to B pretty quick. It is a nice city, always plenty to do, a lot of history and alright to visit but I could never live there.

Man in a Shed, I tend to break the UK down into the following for ease of reference: South of Barnsley - southerner. South of Luton - cockney. South of the M25 - kermit. West of Halifax - Lancashire bastard. North of Darlington - Jock. Chester, Shrewsbury, Hereford are all bundled in with the Taffs.

I can see your theme here for comedic effect, but its a bit dated. I'd rather not pay over the odds (£3.70 for Guinness in my local) but I also get paid double what I was earning up north. Social Skills - chances are on the tube English will be peoples second language, but they are usually friendly if you make the effort. Londoners are often hard to find, most people are from up north, Scotland, midlands, wales anywhere but London, but the Londoners are a chatty as anyone from home. Your food, hygiene and Weird music peices are really tired writings if you ask me - none of this is exclusive to London. Go to Birmingham for example. If I was to advise a northerner, I'd say give it a go. Home is always where the heart is, but try being at the heart of something, you might like it. If you dont, East Midlands Trains...

The tube is fantastic although it does warp your persepective of where things actually are as you live by the tube map design which is just that, a design. My advise to anyone looking to put roots down in London, don't even consider it unless you can earn £100k plus.

Greatest City in the world..everything you need in 15 miles....love it or leave, we live here we love it! Remember, there's a saying it's grim up North. and it is .....see yah!

Funnily enough I was reading Orwell's thoughts on Yorkshiremen in London in 'The Road to Wigan Pier' this morning on the Tube: 'There exists in England a curious cult of Northernness, sort of Northern snobbishness. A Yorkshireman in the South will always take care to let you know that he regards you as an inferior. If you ask him why, he will explain that it is only in the North that life is 'real' life, that the industrial work done in the North is the only 'real' work, that the North is inhabited by 'real' people, the South merely by rentiers and their parasites... And feelings of this kind, which are the result of tradition, are not affected by visible facts.' PS Sorry to hear the East End is a shithole, W4 is a fantastic place to live.

Last time I was in London I fell over a midget. It's never happened to me in Yorkshire.

Pretty unorginal. Pretty badly written.

Some funny stuff in here! But come on, where's the 'southerners guide to living up north'...

London sounds like it doesn't suit you. you could always leave

It's nice up North.

I first went to work in London at 21, on the back of a failed romance,was scared to hell at first,but loved it,over the last 20 years ive worked there on and off,( including a 5 year relationship with a Londoner)then about 6 weeks ago,decided to move down there,bloody hell,Id not realised I got used to living in comfort up north,Id have, to have 3 jobs,to carry on living like I do,and I cant be bothered to struggle now,Londons a great place,love it, but not for me,so luckily I was offered a job in Manchester,so I can stay up north,Im too used to living a good life up north,to living with nothing in the south.Now Ive just got to decide do I want to leave the beauty of Yorkshire to live with Mancs!! ha

I was going to write a West Midlander's guide to everywhere else, but it can be summed up in one sentence. They are all fucking better.

East End in Shithole shocker. christ almighty, get a grip you northern woofter

"So you’re gonna be wanna them cunts naa?” Having read this I reckon you have succeeded.

Lisa, Manchester offers everything to me that London has, and it's only 50mins drive away from where I live in Bradford. It's a fantastic city now. The odd thing about London is is that the people who are the knobheads down there are the ones who'ved moved there from outside, displacing the actual Londoners to god knows where.

As someone from Yorkshire who has lived in London for 5 years now I feel I need to say: 1) It's the capital. Stuff is more expensive. Hence jobs come with London weighting. 2) It's busy, you need to get to work. Of course people are in a rush (which isn't helped by people stopping in the middle of the pavement staring gormlessly around) 3)Food/music - the diversity in London is what makes it so great! I love that it has everything 4) More people = more rubbish 5) Oh no! People make an effort with their appearance, for shame!

The only reason we don't talk on the tube is because it's the only 'quiet' time some of get all day. No phone, no talking - bliss!! It's a city of strangers and that's why we like it...

Being a northerner in London myself, I can totally relate to this but can also laugh about it as most of it is true! Seriously some of people who have left comments need to lighten up, he's not saying that he doesn't like these things, merely commenting in a tongue in cheek way on how things are. And Dan if you're going to comment on someone's writing skills, use a spell checker yourself!

"Northerners" and "southerners" only exist in people's perception. Pointless and wilful generalisations. Every city/town in the world is different and every person in the world is different. Surely that concept isn't very difficult to grasp.

Keith, yes your right,plus working in Fashion,I'll still work there now and again,but as you get older, the myth about London fades,yes its got a great nightlife,gig scene, but so has up north,plus working 3 jobs, so i can live in a decent area,I'd be too knackered to go to a gig,plus I love the fact up north you can hear someones life history whilst waiting for a bus, in London, start a coversation at a bus stop, they think youve lost your carer.

As a proper northerner (Newcastle) living in London for the best part of 15 years I can sympathise with some of your points but it is a bit on the tired side now mate. London isn't for everyone but most of my mates from oop north who start off with the "I hate London" attitude they go back home having had a great weekend and happily visit again. Yeah I like having paper change from a tenner for 2 drinks and I do miss corned beef pasties, PROPER gravy and chips, stotties and peas pudding but I also LOVE Jerk Chicken, PROPER kebabs, bagels and Camden. The tube sucks yes but they do a great job moving 3 million people a day around using what amounts to victorian bits of string. Traffic's a nightmare - buy a motorbike. Cabs are expensive - take the night bus. Broadband is worse than in most country villages.....yeah not a lot you can do about that. London is a microcosm albeit a big one. Nowhere else I would rather live, best city in the world (with the possible exception of Tokyo and New Orleans) well at least the part north of the Thames........

I was born in London after my parents moved here from Yorkshire at the end of the 1960's. I've had regular visits to Yorkshire through my entire life and appreciate the beauty and history. What I have found is when up North, we are constantly being told how Yorkshire was 'better' than London, usually by people who consider a trip to Wakefield to be the height of sophistication. I love Yorkshire. I love London. I love Yorkshire for it's very Yorkshireness and I love London for being my home and the greatest city in Europe. (Life is all about opinions). The good thing about our country is we can enjoy nearly any part of it with not much more than half a day of travel.

As a Yorkshire neighbour (Cheshire), now living as a London neighbour, I agree. Being about 60 miles from the city means that's where all the best rock gigs and events are:-( That is the only reason I ever venture into the city, pretty much, and every time I come back out of it I have to comment on how much I hate the place. I also don't like the fact I have to tone my humour down because people think I'm rude. I'm not the problem, you southern lot stop being so bloody touchy! I've been here about 12 years, it's temporary, I will return back north before I die. Oh and so many places only serve lager or spirits.... what's that all about?

some points above in my early days i would have agreed with - i'm from the north and i much prefer London. There's more going on, i can easily find pubs that cost the same as in the north - Sam Smiths pubs are well cheap and pretty decent too. Music wise you have so much choice. Stop moaning! and to the lady to paid almost £10 for a glass of wine - that's just pretty dumb.

If you don't like it down here then don't come. Simple.

Molly is the embodiment of the 'southerners are rude and offensive' stereotype and have no sense of humour. Well done Molly for keeping that alive.

It's a tongue-in-cheek article. Anyone that's commented 'you know where you can go...' get a sense of humour! It's all true and I'm sure there's an equivalent 'Londoner in the North article' waiting to be written. Except most Londoners I've met haven't been North even once...

Jesus H. Christ. I enjoyed that article and then I scrolled down to find that it was nowt but a bunch of miserable southern bastards that took it all seriously and had to turn it round into being some serious discussion about how wonderful London actually is. Clearly you don't understand the sarcasm or wit of Northerners either. I'm from Yorkshire and moved to London last year (with my masters degree level education from Nottingham University before you start up on 'thick in 'ead' remarks) and can say in all truth that what's stated above is so true! It's not a superiority complex that needs to be taken seriously by you Southern Softies, it's merely us poking fun. Ask any Yorkshireman or woman what our war cry is and we'll tell you... " 'ow much!!" Thus demonstrating that we are just as capable of taking the piss out of us selves as we are of taking the piss out of you. See the humour, people!

I wholeheartedly agree Christine! I was shocked when i read the comments. We must just have a different sense of humour entirely! I love meeting other northerners in London just for the chance to laugh about how different it is here! doesnt mean i don't love it down here, i do. Just means i miss the light heartedness of the north too.

Cockneys love us dirty northern ponces really... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8Ywyfk2hUY&feature=related

Shitest article I've read on here

aren't we all British :-)live in Leeds and love Yorkshire love London

Totally agree with Jen. Molly, have a glass of wine and chill out. The author is clearly writing the piece for comic affect and that's where it ends. Brilliant job of proving his point though guys!

From the North (Bury). Have lived in the South (Westminster). Not even a debate worth having. Love them both for their best bits, both have negative aspects. North \ South debate is bullshit. Be grateful of the differences, and the choices we have. Ps if I had lot's of money, I'd live in Chiswick, no question.

Jen/Victoria, Writing 'Striking up a conversation with a stranger it seems is the social equivalent of wiping your cock on someone’s sandwich' is really funny. You missed the 2 main points I was making, one being people in London NEVER think about N/S divide and also if anyone isn't happy in any place then don't slag it off, don't live there and leave us who like it alone. Jen What do you mean by 'Molly is the embodiment of the 'southerners are rude and offensive' stereotype'. I didn't write this n/s article, I gave my opinion on it. That mere stupid comment from you is typical or stero typing so what your point? Now you're going to tell me Northerns are more friendly...

I'm an Essex girl, living with a Boro lad (well, I let him live with ME) in London. Londoners aren't southerners - and 'the south' isn't London. Plus, you seem to think London is just the central part. I wouldn't live in central London if you paid me, and I wouldn't hang out anywhere dead expensive (unless someone else was paying). Three of us managed to live in (non-Central) London on one wage for 3 1/2 years, and still managed to be alcoholics, so it isn't THAT expensive. :D Anyway - the biggest North/South divide is that of North/South London, NOT N/S England...

"Londoners aren't southerners"????? Christ, next you'll be telling me that that people from Newcastle aren't geordies, or that people from the wirral are proper scousers....

There's no 'Londoner's Guide To Living Up North' because we just would never voluntarily move there. It's just a series of samey, dead-end town centres connected by endless motorways with the same shops and the same people with irritating accents an no greater ambition than working in the local Wilkinsons and living in a 2-up 2-down with three kids. Buses come once an hour. And they're more expensive than Oyster. All the bars, as you mention, are dedicated to cheesy hair metal. In London we have a real hair metal scene, full of real people who live and breathe the lifestyle rather than just go out in what you call 'fancy dress' and have a laugh. And the youth are loud up north. Loud, crazy louts. I'm not saying there aren't general southerners like that, but if you go out to the right bars where you'll have a great time (you are wrong about this, I can show you many) you will not come across a single chav or 'lad'. Just accept the fact that drinks cost more than £4, pre-drink before you come out and stop whining about it. I went to Leeds once, and my friend bought a round for 15 people with £21. I thought I was in a third-world country. I also must agree with the above comment - Londoners are not Southerners. Southerners on a night out: 'Oi oi!' = Just as bad as Northerners. Londoners don't even shout down the street on a night out; we'd just FaceTime you with our iPhone 4 to get your attention.

Natalie, has just described my experience of Stevenage, Slough, Crawley .. The truth is there are shit places everywhere but there is no where like London to make you feel like you are being constantly robbed or for seeing grinding poverty. If you have never bothered to venture elsewhere then you have truly missed a trick... Only in London can you spend a fortune on a small "flat" (not even a house) in a twilight zone (if you are lucky enough to buy in the first place), next to a street of kebab shops and chicken cottages, strewn with rubbish and vomit, next door to some seriously scary neighbours, pay to park outside your own home/drive through your city and commute to work standing (not sitting) so close to people that you can tell whether they have washed their hair that day. The standard of living is pretty piss poor for most.

As a Southerner who was born in London but since moved elsewhere, I'd echo tho se northerners telling the miserable sods who can't take a joke to lighten up! This cracked me up. It's all true! Still love London but it takes the piss sometimes!

Yeah, it's funny - I can see why you'd mock Londoners (pretentious twats/ idiots who pay too much for anything/ kepp themselves to themselves) but I can't understand why the North is better than London at all. Sarah - I've never been to Stevenage, Slough or Crawley. I am a Londoner through and through. Been a few places up north though. I find small towns far worse for seeing poverty. Like I said, same shops, same people, no ambition. This is poverty. There are kebab shops and chicken cottages, into which I have and would never venture, in every 'town centre' and 'high street' in every other town but central London (you must be referring to Greater London where the rubbish areas are) - as I said, louts released from pubs at the modest closing time in, say, central Leeds screech and vomit and eat shit food at midnight ...but I can go out any time I want, I don't drive and I will never need to. Commuting is a piece of cake if you ever got the bus to my high school. You honestly just don't notice it. I'd rather commute like sardines with my iPod than talk to people on the way to work. We may live in boxes stacked upon each other, and we may live near all kinds of different types of people, but I would never live anywhere else in the UK. I love London. I love the culture, the mix of people, the different subcultures in different areas, and I would go insane if I had to live in a semi-suburban, centred-around-the-village town far from all the hustle and bustle and centre of the entire country's development. Surely that's the greatest thing about being proud to be a Londoner.

Dont worry London people, we the people of kolkata, India are with you.

been there, done that- property prices in london are ridiculous- the 1 bed flat that cost you a quarter of a million in london gets you a 3 bed house in manchester( and thats in a a nice area).. its dirty( check out your bogeys after 1 day), the water is dirty and doesnt make you feel clean after a shower, londonders fall into 2 categories- utter idiots and gobshites. horrible place, horrible head up their arse people.

Well the comment situation on here has gone a bit mental. People really need to chill out a little. Life really is far too short to be this uptight. It seems evident that a vast amount of people have totally lost their sense of humour in all the London smog. Maybe it is a difference in humour, maybe it wasn't written in the best way, but inevitably it's is all tongue and cheek. You only need to read the style and topics of other articles by this writer and others on this site to see this. As many people have outrightly pasted their anger, everyone should really get to grips with reality. EVERYONE is entitled to an opinion. That is all it is. It in no way means that one person is better than another. How has this turned into a mass amount of personal power trips? Comments such as Natalie's, 'It's just a series of samey, dead-end town centres connected by endless motorways with the same shops and the same people with irritating accents an no greater ambition than working in the local Wilkinsons and living in a 2-up 2-down with three kids…' are just plan rude, pointless and offensive with ZERO added humour. Making stereotypical judgements on a society of people not just an area is just as bad your argument against this piece. I am a born and bred Yorkshire girl now living in London, who is lucky enough to be in a very good working position due to my drive and ambition to succeed. Surely if you are such an ambitious, educated person yourself then you would have a few more brain cells and better common courtesy to not create such spiteful narrow minded assumptions, whether you are from the NORTH or the SOUTH. Also, maybe I'm missing the mark here, but how in the world is spending £21 on 15 drinks a bad thing? There is obviously no pleasing some people. Fair enough, everyone is completely and totally entitled to their own opinions. But this has got way out of hand people need to chill out and stop being so bloody malicious over something as harmless as a few hundred words. On another note, Dave Lee whoever and wherever you are… your comment made my day. And Simon Martin whoever and wherever you are… Rotherham is NOT midlands, it's in South Yorkshire my love.

'People really need to chill out a little' [FURIOUS LENGTHY DIATRIBE] That's northerners for you: they reserve the right to say whatever they like, and if you don't like it then it's because you don't have a sense of humour. I think the north is a desperate shithole full of chippy car thieves and should be avoided at all costs. Whasamatter? No sense of humour?

I would hazard that 75% of people who live in London are not Londoners.

I'm from the 'real' north - Newcastle, and I've been darn Landan for over 12 years. I hat to burst anyone's bubble, but I find Londoners friendly and funny. Whereas, I've known Northerners who are absolute cunts. Like the person earlier posted, people are people. Though some people from the home counties seem very ignorant.

I personally find it baffling when someone leaves their hometown for somewhere else expecting it to resemble home in any way knowing full well they're migrating to a completely different place. Go live in 'Greater London'.. people are friendly and it's dirt cheap plus they won't even consider you a Londoner

Yeah, most of the people I know and work with in London, are not from London.

Well one thing I think we can all agree on is that regardless of where you are from people get very defensive when discussing where they live. The article was one guy's opinion, he is entitled to it, he wasn't slamming anyone personally. I am a Londoner and have been my whole life (other than a 2 year stint in NY). The city s busy and dirty and over priced and many people that live in it are rude and in a hurry and many are miserable for these exact reasons. That being said, if you earn a decent wage then you avoid living in the crap, run down areas and have enough cash spare to never have to worry about things like the cost of a pint! If you earn a decent wage, London is a great city, if you don't, you will more than likely find it depressing. One thing I do like about the North is that Northen women are a lot more down to earth and not all stuck up their own arses. # That aside I love London and other than New York (my 2nd favourite place to live) can't think of anywhere I would rather be!

I love london.It's not as good as the north but pretty darn awesome

Come on guys, calm down. It's supposed to be funny (even to Londoners!)... people taking offense to this charming piece of satire have missed the point entirely and, incidentally, should get a sense of humour. ps. i heart london

Natalie, I am from the North with the irritating accent you mention and three children, so to a point I fit into your stereotype of Yorkshire folk. However, I have always worked hard and have a good job. All my children have graduated from University with 1st class honours in their degrees. All have ambition and are living their dreams. There are good and bad people wherever you come from but your comments are personal and insulting. This article that has caused so much debate is a funny, witty account of a way of life that has been taken way out of context by narrow minded people and not in the tongue in cheek way in which it was meant. Well done Jordan. For the record, I am Yorkshire born and bred but also love London and all it has to offer, but have to admit the article is pretty danm accurate. Meemee, you have hit the nail on the head.

Not to diminsh your 'northness' but as a Scot (true northerner) I feel that London has lots to offer and as many Londoners and Southerners have said, get your head around the differences and just go with it. I consider myself a city dweller as a Glaswegian but London is colourful, vibrant and different in all manner of ways and it buzzes with energy. I agree that its a bit dirtier than northern cities but hey, maybe that's because so many of us from all over the country are down here enjoying the place. All of this said, I love to get home again and maybe thats how all of us 'visitors' should be. Enjoy it when you're here and love your home town more when you get back there.

I'm from Chesterfield, studied in Nottingham, lived in London and now made the move to New York. So I've done them all. You're talking absolute shit. London is better than the north for anyone who wants to open their sphere of vision. London is the gateway to the rest of the world. Manchester is not. If you liked it so much go back and let someone else culture themselves beyond the price of a pint. What's that? People make more money in London anyway so the prices are all relative? Fuck, that's strange.

London love it or leave it.

My opinion doesn't matter because this is the internet.

Someone get Jen a beer, made me giggle. Seriously people lighten up, I'm a northerner living in London and I'm afraid he's got a point compared to what it's like back home, doesn't mean I don't like living here!

Ashley - I agree, he has a point but this just feels dated and very unoriginal - London is expensive, fast paced and dirty... Much like the locals down here who ask about my whippet most days, for the record she's fine - her name is "Gravy".

London is not part of the south. People in London dont give a f*** about this divide. Only northerners talk about the divide. why? because London is on another level fam

What level would that be? Don't forget most of the financial disaster that currently curses this nation was perpetrated in your city. That G

I live in a run down shit hole 45 minutes east out of London and go there a lot. It's not expensive if you know where you going, the only real diffence from living in London and elsewhere is rent. The rest is debatable.

I am glad on your last comment, we are the most beautiful people in the country, and most certainly the most stylish. Regarding price, I cant help think your just going to the wrong places. I realise there are so over priced bars in London, but one of my regular haunts has a £1.50 a drink offer Sunday to Thursday and thats right in the heart of Soho. As for talking to people, in the morning I dont want to talk to anyone, I want to read my book, get to work and talk to my coleagues. Its not being rude, thats just the way people in London are. The fact of the matter is that you live in London, not that gloomy hell hole the North, its obviously doing something right for you!

Adam, which part of the 'gloomy hell hole the North' did you live in?

oh mate, what are you doing!!! Can't you write a piece about how great london is please.... I am currently trying to get my boyfriend to move down, and shit like this really doesn't help. Write some positives please, or if its that bad head on home. I agree with a lot of the things you have written. Having lived in Leeds when I was a student, everything does seem so much cheaper. Although rubbish is still piled high there, even worse than here. BUT there are so many great things about London. It is a big place and I think you just need to find the right area for you, somewhere on the boarders which doesn't make your skin black from all the pollution.

Skinky, I have NEVER lived up North. I dont deny it has some amaznig parts, I love Yorkshire, but London is clearly better! Its scousers that baffle me, they genuinely believe Liverpool is better than London.

Love it, so true! London = scum

I honestly can't believe how many of you Cockernees have just put something as childish as "love it or leave it/you know what to do if you don't like it" - it was a tongue in cheek article made to make people chuckle, not to start a social revolution in our capital city. A lot of it might be exaggerated and may well be dated but at least he made an effort to lighten up everyone's day. Come on all you shandy drinking geezah's, get a bloody sense of humour and lighten up - we're the ones that live in the grim north, it's US that should be perpetually miserable, not all you rich folk with your bright lights and fancy shops!

Oh and for Natalie, I hope your response was as equally tongue-in-cheek as the original article because if not, you are one seriously uptight and overly sensitive Pearly Queen.

The problem is all us southerners made of fortune from closing all the mines in t'north which had pushed up prices down here. I went to see Billy Elliot other week and pissed myself laughing from start to finish.

The problem is all us southerners made of fortune from closing all the mines in t'north which had pushed up prices down here. I went to see Billy Elliot other week and pissed myself laughing from start to finish. Can anyone please tell me what StrongNoBrainOrSenseOfHumour is talking about?? Are you one of those foreign tourist types you get down in that big old town of yours because your grasp of English is a little bit basic to be honest. The problem is you got rich by closing our pits and pushed prices up down here. Nope, I've tried to make sense of it but sorry Gavnah, it's total fucking gibberish!

What was that about tongue in cheek/a sense of humour? t'Happy t'Days!

Born, raised, and still live in Essex. I have mixed feelings about London. It is great to have a city the size and stature of London just 40 miles away (and less than an hour by train). It's excellent to have the number of venues, gigs, conventions, events, etc. basically on my doorstep. But at the same time I'm glad I don't live/work there, and am always pleased to return home for the following reasons: 1. London does smell. 2. It is too busy and crowded, and pretty much everyone you come across is always in a rush to be somewhere else. 3. And there is, at least from my perspective, an underlying sense of unfriendliness about the place (maybe that's just central London). As for the Tube, useful though it undoubtedly is, it's a magnificent example of the three problems above, all rolled into one, and stuffed into a huge underground sewer. It's about the most unpleasant travel experience you can wish to have in a "first-world" city. Unfortunately (unless you want to pay a cabbie £5-a-mile) it's the only viable way to get around the place. Having said all that, I do appreciate being within easy travel distance of London. Just don't expect me to ever live there.

People in the South dont mention the 'divide' becaue they are to cunt-headed to realise THEY are the problem.

I went to a club in Kensington last week (free entry and booze - my only lure!) Eventually the free booze ran out and when I enquired as to alternative drink options I was given a choice of champagne or Grey Goose Vodka/Redbull which would set me back £18.50. I promptly informed them that 'weer ah cum from thats a nart out ya bastud' and left. Thank fuck for Wetherspoons and Greggs venturing down here!

Oh and another thing.....I've lived here 2 and half years now and not a day goes by without someone taking the piss out my accent or just echoing me slightly after I've said a particularly 'northern-sounding' word in some crap faux Yorkshire accent.

I'm a Londoner born and bred and I love London. Yeah, it's expensive, but name me a European capital that isn't. Frankly, it really pisses me off when people from outside London come and live here and then complain about the prices. Yeah it's dirty, but I'd hate to live somewhere sterile - went to Zurich once - horribly clean. Also been to Rotherham, Liverpool, Manchester - hardly spotless. In a nutshell, if you don't like it, stay away. Alright, cock?

I think what our beautiful southern siblings are forgetting is that each and every northerner who is in London is here for a reason, whether it be family, work, opportunities, whatever - we all have a reason why, right now, we've chosen to live in London over elsewhere in the country. We're not 'dissing' your city just pointing out to our northern friends the differences between our home towns and here, otherwise our obviously tiny little Northern minds couldn't possibly comprehend the magnificence that is London without due preparation.

Shut the fuck up and spare a though for us miserable shits who grew up in Telford. I've lived in Sheffield and London and they're both better than growing up in the middle of that hellmouth.

Typical bullshit written by someone who comes down to London to be a hipster. You sound like you're 15.

"The place is filthy and disgusting, make no odds about it." Sigh.

...ignorant, shortsighted child -from the north.

Yes, London is indeed magnificent, but so then is Manchester, Liverpool, Newcastle, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Bristol, Nottingham, Brighton, Carlisle, Aberdeen etc etc etc etc etc etc..............

Laaarrr'den... so far up its own arse with self importance it's moved in with its small intestine... Simply not relevant anymore.

To all the people who have commented in a negative way: Who cares? Seriously. Live where you want. Parts of the South are shit, parts of the North are shit. There are cunts all over the country, but there are also decent, salt of the earth, lovely people wherever you go. North, South... Oh and even in those far off mystical lands 'East' and 'West'. Anyone who honestly gives two shits about whether or not London is better than Manchester or wherever is a complete nause. London is the capital city and is magnificent, and there are tons of other ace cities in the country too. So stop bitching about it because you sound like whiney little divs. Go out, enjoy your city (whatever you may be) and have many high or low cost pints depending on whether or not your salary is relative - or, just buy a bottle of cheap vodka from Spar and neck it before you go out. Honestly!

The funniest thing in all of this is people claiming London to be the best city in the world. Do you really mean that?

I'm from Rotherham too, originally, and it's people like you I moved away to London to get away from. Where do you get the idea that people are friendlier up north? No they're not, not particularly. You dole out silly, knee-jerk, ill thought stereotypes. Please go back to Rotherham wwith your unoriginal ideas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPSzPGrazPo There does seem to be a north/south humour divide here. And personally I see Lon-Don as being within the 1-3 zones of the Tube. I personally can't see the charms of the place that much but each to their own. And it's an obvious truism that anyone raised within said zones believes that north of the M25 it is a barren hostile environment where people live in caves and electricity is non-existent yes? Personally I live and was born and raised in a perfect idyll a veritable Nirvana, which I never fouind reason to leave in the first place to chase a shiny shilling. And everyone is welcome to visit The Black Country, but remember we are not Brummies!

The things I learnt from my many years in London, if you have something to do and someone to do it with it's the greatest place in the world, if you have nothing to do and you are on your own it's the most miserable. Never ever have a bedsit in Swiss Cottage and if you want to start a family, leave, it's not a place for kids.

Hmmmm..... not really all true. Your comment "constant air of food based snobbery towards us Northerners" makes me think of the very many times that, as a, what many northerners would call (and indeed have called "posh" southerner, I have been judged. After an initial encounter with northern people I have been deemed to be snobby, naive, not worldly-wise, condescending, etc, etc. The truth is that I am the most down to earth person possible, and absolutely not snobbish. The truth of the matter is it is the northerners in question who are actually the judgemental ones, merely based on geography and accent!! If southerners were to actually be as judgemental and outspoken as northerners in this regard, all hell would break loose. I rest, treading on eggshells, as usual.

SHUT UP! You are HOT! Awesome long thin muscular legs with the perfect coating of hair. I want to crawl in between them and bury my face in your underwear and take a big deep sniff. The size of your shoes is quite impressive. You have thick pretty hair and your hairline doesn't even show a hint of rising. Lean tight muscular body with a nice frame, and a flat stomach. You have nothing to complain about. If you need money kick back and get paid good $$ to sit there and get serviced no reciprocation. Post your picture online and sell your used boxers or tighty whities. The money will roll into your paypal account. I don't want to hear you complain about anything. You were blessed with genes that lined up just right to make others desire you. You landed yourself in a world class city. You've got nothing to complain about, and I didn't even know who Ryan Gosling was. I was googling him to find out because some girl on Chelsea Lately said she had a crush on him. Your article popped up. I think I'd much rather spend the night with you as long as you don't complain about the horrible situation you are in with the blessing of natural good looks and easy access to a cosmopolitan locale. Buck up buddy...feel like switching bodies and locations for a bit?

People are very friendly on the night buses ... when they aren't puking over you or shitting themselves. All aboard!

Firstly, i'm as northern as them come and the reason why we're all down here is Money. London is in it's own little bubble. It is grim up north i'm not better than them, I see it as I've bettered myself. People alway say "you've kept your accent". Of course I have i'm from yorkshire it's not going to disappear is it. In the small town of keighley my friends are still sat in the same seats they were in 20 years, telling the say stories and going out friday, saturday and sunday. Eatings cheating is still the slogan they use. They love I used to love it but London has made me look at life in a different light. The tubes are full of northern people, people in Britain have lost the love thy neighbor attitude in fact most people don't know who their neighbors are.We've stopped talking to strangers full stop. Food you have a point with, up north you have separate takeaways. One for fish and chips, one for kebabs and one for Chinese. In London a takeaway that does all three is wrong. Although there is a great selection of different foods in London just to be tasted. Drinks are more expensive in London but we earn more money to counter balance that. Women are stunning and not as stunning up north and down south. You tried being funny but really it's old hat now.

Yep London is one complete over priced shit-hole. Not all the South is London and I do get a bit fucked off with being bunched up with people from the capital ( I'm from Devon, a place where people actually give a shit) I have two over riding memories of the smoke- I once had to stop a blind man from walking off the edge of a tube platform as everyone around him couldn't be arsed to help. The other was paying £12 for a pot of tea and a corn beef sandwich in Convert Garden in 1993! thought the cashier was taking the piss...

From wheere I'm standing, (Scotland) yous are all from "down south".

@scooterslag I think people do realise that devon isn't in London you fuckwit. In any case Londoners wouldn't want to be grouped with you inbred country bumkin wankers.

Nice to see that the most offended seem to be Northerners who realize that they got a much better welcome in London than any southerner would have got up North

hmmmm, city people get so sensitive. Taking this in from the distant city of Toronto (also constantly slagged by the rest of the country), and having visited London (admittedly only a tourist experience), the city does have a few things going for it. You look young Jordan... ...but maybe your comment about 'bagging a granny' is more telling than we realize, lol!

Never trust people who don't like gravy on their chips.

Shut the f//k up with all your silly bull I'm I'm trying get some sleep over here.

LOLlipops- funny that as half my family are from the london area, so I'm quite aware what a bunch of dribbling, selfish, gobby, greedy, selfish cunts you Londoners are ( sadly related to people such as you) should you ever find yourself in Devon on your Holiday, please contact so I can stab you with a broken Stanley knife blade, over charge you for everything and step over your drying, blooded corpse. It will be just like being back in the smoke cunt-chops!

www.thegreenwichbarber.com you do know Wembley is in Zone 4 right?!

I'm a bit surprised that there's not a single compalint whatsoever about the weather. I hated the weather when I lived in London, always foggy and steamy (and raining, of course) which leaves my hair look damp and unstyled (I always spend a good half an hour styling it before going out, even just for grocery shopping). I think it really depends on where you come from that varies your like/dislike for London. If you're already from a big, dirty and pricy city full of xenophobes, London's got nothing to complain about except for the weather.

To be brutally honest London is the same as any other city in Britain, although most towns are not so good as our British cities. There is nothing special, really, about London, Manchester, Birmingham or Liverpool. They all have acceptable practical and entertainment facilities. The only difference amongst the lot of them is the people. Southern cities have have residents with shocking social skills but particularly bad manners. This is what differentiates southern and northern cities and this is the real reason why the south is a pile of tosh and why I'm rather pleased to say I don't live down there and that I live at the heart of our beautiful country surrounded by beautiful people in the north, in body and mind :D

Considering the fact that the two places are so vastly different, that the UK media is still Londoncentric and that everyone from England is generally assumed to be from London by people outside the country, I think it's fair enough to suggest that us outside the capital are going to be more vocal about it. Unlike Londoners, who are catered for far better in some ways and are unlikely to understand how this can irk us somewhat. My best mate lives in London and we love pointing out the differences and having a laugh about them when we visit each other, we can laugh at our own area as well as each other's. At the end of the day, at least we're not France.

London...Love it or Leave it.

I'm a black yank and I've never been to Europe but I find british men attractive, (especially the fair-skinned ones) but sometimes you guys scare me. I want to marry one of you.

I haven't lived in the UK since the late 60s so I have been de-tribalised. Northerners and Southerners not really that different. Spend a couple of years in a German culture and you will welcome with open arms any person with an English accent, when you hear it as they all sound like home.The article was amusing and very tongue in cheek and I'm sure there are lots of similar articles written by Southerners in the same vein about the north. Smile and remember when the chips are down we all pull together :-)

Go back to the North you common piece of shit.

Far too much bullshit on here. People change south of Watford. If you've ever been on the train from the north, say Leeds or the West Midlands, you can see the personality changes in people. They become far more ruder and ignorant as you move towards London and through the South of the country. This is fact. You know none of this oh, everybody is the same crap!! This is not true. Southerners are two faced back stabbing wankers - people from the midlands and upwards are straight as a die, true people and easier to get on with.

A Man who is tired of London is tired of life.

What are you talking about?! I have just spent 6 long years in Manchester and hate it. But I wont be so narrow minded as to label Manchester and its people as Northern and make such a sweeping statement. Of course all you northerners jump on the band wagon!! And I have to tell you I have NEVER come across such rude, ignorant, vile, moody people. And there is far too much bullshit on here. Us southerners really dont care about the North and the only divide there is, is the one you Northerners like to bang on about and keep alive. All of my friends from Manchester love London and agree that the people are far more courteous, friendly and well mannered. Get a grip and if you don't like it you know what to do. Of course London is expensive its a capital for god sake and of course people dont talk on the tube to a complete f'in stranger! London is full of tourists and immigrants and people who arent even from the South so how can you come up with this crap? I've never had a problem in London and so maybe its just you?! And Dirty? Manchester is fuckin filthy mate. Listen I've lived all over the world and in the UK and I'm telling you Northerners are narrow minded, old fashioned, love to bang on about the south and quite frankly if you dont like it LEAVE!!

I understand the piece is meant to be funny?! But it isnt its just one mans one sided opinion because he is from the North. Oh and to all the northerners on here going bloody nuts venting their angry on us 'southerners' as they like to call us and jumping on the band wagon, dear, dear you prove my point everytime = judgemental, rude, ignorant, and I'm talking from experience. GO BACK IF YOU DONT LIKE IT and eat chips with gravy and call everyone knob heads or dick heads. Shameless springs to mind hahaha.

I'm from London and have lived in yorkshire. I love living in yorkshire, yes you have friendlier people who do find it ok to speak to strangers, I don't mind strangers talking to me, how else do you make friends? But at the same time, I find there are more miserable people in the northern regions who think anything outside of yorkshire shouldn't live in the country. It depends how you are brought up! And everything is opinionated and not fact. I love my northern mates as much as I do my southern mates. Humour is a little different but you take it with a pinch of salt instead of being a miserable so and so. My northern mates don't think no different of me because I was born outside of yorkshire and speak different. If anything they love it cause because we can have banter about it, the same as I can with their accents!

I also love chips and gravy and super thick gravy with my meals. I was raised in croydon, south london. Living in london you have to deal with all sorts of different cultures, languages and ways of living. So why would we think any different of people who are from the same country as us? Maybe all the snobby 'upper class' people who work in london are what 'northerners' seem to think of 'southerners'. Whether you're from the north or south we speak the same language, have the same anatomy and support the same national team!

I'm from near York in the north and have family near leeds which i travel to most weeks and i LOVE london, infact i was planning on going to a london university.But reading some of these comments that have been taken way to far and stereotyping northerners is really offensive. Ok, this article is tongue and cheek and DOES state some stereotypical things about London and the people itself but for the comedy side. For some people commenting calling northerners thick and low lifes with no ambition what so ever - have you visited all of yorkshire and northern england before calling us those things? Maybe you are classing the whole of the north as what somebody related us to the program 'shameless' well no, believe it or not we are not all similar to those well known characters.i am from a small town and know some very well achieving and well off people, infact one of my family friends who lives in our town worked with the rolling stones for example and has worked with so many bands and artists throughout their lifetime and has lived in London a long time then came back up north. a lot of my family have been to university. A lot of my family have high achieving jobs - are we the 'thick, no ambition low life people' you were describing? and I am proud to be from yorkshire. I have nothing bad to say about London or down south either. But if northern england is full of all the descriptions somebody gave - then why are there so many millionaires living here? Surely they must fit into your 'no ambition, low lifes' too then? Though i think some people should consider, not everyone from the north of england have the same 'thick' accent and way of life etc. In all honesty i think we should just be proud to be british.

Just read this and laughed my bollocks off not just the article but also the comments !so glad I live in a world of my own as anyone "that lad lives in a world of his fucking own"

I visited Manchester last year - never again! I was spat at and called a southern c#?t just because my diction is much clearer. I was als6 slapped in the face by two girls for no reason. If I HAD to move north it would be Yorkshire. But I love London too much to leave. Oh, and I also met my husband on the tube. Please never come back to London - you'll only make it look dirty!

I visited Manchester last year - never again! I was spat at and called a southern c#?t just because my diction is much clearer. I was also slapped in the face by two girls for no reason. If I HAD to move north it would be Yorkshire. But I love London too much to leave. Oh, and I also met my husband on the tube. Please never come back to London - you'll only make it look dirty!

Been there T-shirt n all n go back upp Norf? Never!!

Bloody Northerners ruining England, as usual. As always, us Southerners (the ones literally having our money taken from us to keep up the northern' scums lifestyles) have to apologise to the world when the notherners do their typical idiotic idiocy of the day such as burning a mosque or killing a baby

People, lets all calm down and concentrate on the real issue here, that Natalie's wonderful response to this articles seems to suggest that buying 15 drinks for 21 pounds in Leeds is a negative thing?

Rotherham in the Midlands, did someone say? How can it be? It's in South Yorkshire.

I moved to London 18 years ago from Liverpool. I'd never live up north again. Putting it simply, its shit.

Having lived in Manchester I would say most of this is just as relevant there as it is in London. It's less of a North/South divide, more of a city/town divide (and having grown up in a crappy town I will stay with the cities, thanks)

Th comedy value needs to taken with a pinch of salt but the majority of it is true. Londoners are heavily caught up in the rat race and the price of things make my eyes water but i wouldn't change it for the world. I lived up North for 20 years and moved to London 7 years ago and whilst been here is the only time I have experienced any kind of north/south banter, its the southerners who play this card because they appear to have placed themselves on a pedastal and look down on the north. As for me (and most northerners), I couldn't care less where you are from, if you're pleasant, friendly and won't nick my girlfriend, I don't really care. See you all on the tube.

I love that there is no Greggs - or I've never seen one :) When I come back up North at the weekends I can't find anything healthy to eat anywhere. And Londoners do have a completely skewed view of what it's like 'oop North'. They really do think it's a desolate wasteland. And to be honest I always encourage that view. Because if they knew how beautiful it is they'd be here like a shot buying up all our houses! It's a great place and I love working there and having the best of both worlds. But I - and everybody else on the train home on Fridays, breathe a collective sigh of relief when the train pulls out of Kings Cross ! @necomms

There is a divide. Londoners are all prejudiced. Its depressing , humans. It's a divided city, all the different groups distrust each other but it's done silently. The only ism allowed is northern-ism, not considered unPC. I've been patronised so many times. Had banter aka blatant abuse hurled at me (colleagues drunk). But I was sick of small town life. I like the choice of music and theatre down here. Bit too many petty silly shallow snobs though. Ah the prejudice...I once saw two drama students improvising and sending up gruff Yorkshire portraying they don't know anything about art. I had to quietly remind them after, where Hockney and Hirst are from. Dear me.

...Dear you indeed. Another victim of tribalism. Isn't it funny how two humans can hack themselves to death all over what spec of land they come from (I know i'm taking it to the extreme). Fact is, if I were from the north (and predudice), i'd be taking the piss outta all them soft as shite southerners. And, if I were from the south, the same would apply. (just joking) No honestly if I were from the south (and predudice), i'd be slating those northern bastards! It's a typical 'us and them' situation. We all like to feel that we are part of a larger group, weather it be North or South, Europe or America, Chelsea FC or Manchester UNTD FC, Playstation or Xbox, Iphone or Android etc... And as a member of a group we feel we must make a stand for our group, particularly whenever an opposition group is percieved to make a threat (no matter how minute). However, since humans began to think for themselves, increasing numbers of (non-predudiced) people have sought to see the bigger picture. Simply being from a different place would make most people a different person. Sorry it's a bit deep, i was in that kinda mood last night when i wrote it. Anyway great post, it had me laughing in aggrement to most of your stereotypes, and was well written, coming from a northerner, that's my second joke of the post, (the third is my spelling) as for the train rush, we do leave 5 mins earlier, it's just that the trains are always f''in late.(i'm a surrey southerner by the way).

Lol at the southern softies gettin their skinny fits in a bunch. The south is awful. There is no guide for southerners moving up north because we wouldn't allow it. They'd die of alcohol poisoning or be beat to death by an oap. Last time I visited London a douche on his mobile walked clean into a little old lady in front because he was in such a rush he then tried gettin past ten big lads from Yorkshire who proceeded to knock him to the ground and tell him to get to fook.

I don't know about placing New Orleans in a list of best cities in the world. Have you ever met any Yankee Negros? Violent, unscrupulous bunch that believe they are entitled to a free paycheck for not working. It's all the white man's fault or some nonsense.

Wow us southerners need to grow up. I have grown up by the m25 and I cant stand london. I met a scottish girlfriend and want to move there. Down here they are all rush rush rush. Me me me bloody hell guys and girls where is the random speaking that I get up north? Where's the calm relaxed driving you get up north? You don't simple to many people thinking they are better than everyone else so that's where the conversation killer is and the terrible must get in front driving. Its idiotic London and That's why I'm moving up north. Complete twats in london. One thing I love though is holding you idiots up in traffic while I'm doing the speed limit or not moving out your way when I'm already walking through the door or getting off the tube. Oh and generations of my family have been brought up here but I'm doing the better thing and walking away from the shithole dirty streets of london

AHA! FUNNY! look at all the angry people, I bet they are the ones winding you as they rush to their next v.imp board meeting. London is amazing, so is this article! Thanks for writing, it's good to know others like me are regularly shitting kidneys xxxxxxxxx

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was born in london lived worked there now live in countryside work from home much happier LONDON IS NOW A UTTER SHIT HOLE

Funny topic! All cities are the same , but I think people are insane if they want to live there , give me a rural area every time please!!!

Dear Jordan, cut out the smokes, take a shower & stop being so rude. People will likely want to know you then. Leave the 1950's behind in the North & you can have wonderful time in London/ the South / the modern era. I only wish I'd stayed there. And really, don't come from this tip and call other places dirty!

Is it just me or are Londoners and other Southerners antisocial? I've never met such people before who won't acknowledge what you're saying to them in a conversation that they have actually initiated, won't make eye contact with you and will keep repeating something completely random which they think is the funniest/greatest thing in the world. Talk about images of grandeur. They may think they're clever and posh, but to an outsider I just think they're just antisocial morons. I'm really tempted to pack up my bags and head up north to Manchester.

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I moved down 19 months ago for a graduate job in london. I have a very mixed opinion. I moved to London just to get some perspective on life and get away from 'ull (Hull) for a while. I would say that they guys is just having some banter. Yes I did nearly shit a kidney when a similar price was conveyed to me when buying two spirits. Long story short, London is a place where people have their own agenda no matter where they are from its a two sided coin, have plans during the weekend its amazing, if you don't then it can be awful. I do agree that the north is for me a better night out. My synopsis of london so far would be " I hate it, but I love it really." And for anyone considering moving to London... go for it but just make sure you understand that it can at times be a very lonely place.

Hey Bud I am from New Zealand .. Can last 6 months here top.. Of to France soon. But its soo sick this place I am going to make a documentary on how horrible it is. And i do not believe you when you say the people are beautiful. My standards are high but, New Zealand, Australia, America, Japan and Denmark - PLaces I have traveled. Are proper beautiful. Please !!!

I moved from the Midlands to Old London Town 7 years ago and it sucked the life out of me. Too big, rude unfriendly back stabbers everywhere and too god damn pricey to live in an absolute dive.... Drone City. It's like a third world country. I'm done. Manchester here I come, back to the good ol North where people are friggin normal and know how to have a laugh. The saying actually is... If your tired of a hard life, your tired of London, don't be blinded by the lights'.

Oh I dunno. This debate is meaningless isn't it? I live in Bristol now (which doesn't feel like what is considered either North or South)but I lived in London for 15 years and I LOVED it. I miss London so much. I lived in Newcastle (upon-Tyne) for a year too, and that is one fantastic place. However, I've never noticed a difference in friendliness in any of the places that i have lived. Some people friendly, some not. I met all my (now) best buddies in London and only a third or so are from London - the rest from up north, down south, Scotland and all over Europe. I do get bored by the North v South debate which only ever comes up when there is a northener around...

Used to live in London and agree with the article 100%. I've luckily left it to live in Wiltshire :)

Well I had a really good chuckle. Its tongue in cheek guys. Lighten up and don't forget to take a dose of humour every day :-)