Moe’s Tavern - The Simpsons
There’s seemingly only one beer on tap, less than a dozen chairs and its owner describes it as nothing more than a “dank pit”, but there’s a certain charm to Moe’s Tavern. Moe’s tried time and time again to re-do the place, (it’s been a British pub, a family food joint and a “hip” bar for yuppy creatives) but Moe’s Tavern works best as a scuzzy dive. May not be one that’ll be great for the ladies however, Moe famously turned the women’s toilet into his office when he realized how cock heavy his clientele was.
The Queen Vic - Eastenders
In the Sabotage Times office it was a toss up between The Queen Vic and the Rovers Return from Coronation Street. The Rovers scored points for food in Betty’s legendary hotpot, but it couldn’t quite match the Queen Vic for pure entertainment. There’s Peggy bitch slapping Frank and Pat in front of everyone upon finding out about their affair. , “Sharongate”, where Grant finds out Phil and Sharon have been sleeping together in front of everyone and 2012’s bar fight where six men came to blows over the Vic’s five a side football team being kicked out of the league.
There’s no pub I’d rather stumble into randomly and watch a fight kick off in than the Queen Vic. If Danny Dyer becoming the new landlord of the Vic doesn’t come across to you as one of the most appallingly wondrous casting choice in British television history then I feel sorry for you.
Cheers Bar – Cheers
I could write about how Norm loves the bar more than most people will ever love their significant other. I could tell you how when you really think about it, Cheers seems like some sort of alcoholic purgatory; the bartenders never seem to do any work, and no one ever enters the social misjudgement that a ninth pint brings involving trousers, belt, table, inadvisably vigorous dancing maneuvers and finally, the police.
Instead, I’ll just let the opening theme song explain to you why Cheers bar is wonderful.
Cantina Bar on Mos Eisley – Star Wars
Obi Wan Kenobi may have called it a “hive of scum and villainy”, but there’s an enduring charm to the cantina on Mos Eisley that seems to make it perhaps the most familiar place to prop yourself up in a galaxy far far away.
It’s fond of playing the same catchy tune on loop, it has a weird exclusionary entry policy (it’s been well over 15 years since I first saw A New Hope and I’m still confused as to why no droids are allowed), and it’s patrons aren’t kind to a fresh faced country lad sporting a bowl haircut. The Cantina bar has an awful lot in common with your average Essex nightclub on a Bank Holiday.
The Nag’s Head – Only Fools And Horses
The Nags Head is the quintessential London pub in any form of fiction. Decent atmosphere, reasonable prices; and with Mike Fisher as landlord, plenty of ill-gotten clobber to pick up on the cheap. If you didn’t mind your stolen gear breaking almost immediately. Based in Peckham, it’d probably have been bought out and gentrified to holy hell if it existed in real life now, which makes the final scene in the 1996 Christmas special, where the Trotters get a standing ovation for making their fortune, all the more bittersweet. A proper pub with proper patrons.
R.I.P. Roger Lloyd Pack.
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