If only they’d have had a Blackberry their lives would’ve been so much easier…
Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back
Although he spends most of the original trilogy prancing around like an intergalactic boy racer and attempting to catch Princess Leia’s eye, Han Solo finds himself in the mire when Jabba The Hut freezes him in Carbonite. Not only would a swift BBM™ have sorted him out, it would have saved us seeing Carrie Fisher dressed as Boushh!
Had Tom Hanks secreted his phone in a waterproof container before being stranded on a desert island, both him and us would’ve been saved the torture of seeing him lose poor Wilson!
The Bride in Kill Bill vol 2
Ok, so a three-inch coffin smashing punch is massively impressive but we can’t help thinking that it would’ve been better for the nerves of the audience if Uma Thurman had smuggled her phone in as she was buried. There is of course the question of who she would have messaged, what with being an assassin, but we’ll ignore that for now.
The Italian Job
There are few locations as precarious as dangling over a precipice in a van that could fall at any minute if the weight shifts. Though Michael Caine’s massive fingers might have sent the van tumbling as he hammered out an instant message, we reckon a BBM™ would’ve given us a sequel that didn’t involve Mark Wahlberg.
Writes Owen Blackhurst
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