You can't help but admire some people's front. Greggs, the high street crusader for the working man's grub, whose directors would sooner have chained themselves to the gates of parliament in the name of honestly priced hot food than let the government introduce the evil 'Pasty Tax', last week announced that they were reducing the size of their pastries, while increasing the price.
Of course my initial reaction was to storm into my local branch and demand to speak to Gregg. Maybe ring up a few local anarchists and get some banners painted, throw some iced buns around. That's the problem when bakers start getting political you see, rhetoric as empty as their ant-infested cake tins after a long day ripping off customers.
Greggs have an ace up their sleeve however: the sausage, bacon and egg roll. No amount of bad press can deter me from these wonders of the cheap breakfast age. Identical to the traditional sausage roll to the naked eye, but the latticed arms of this pastry lovingly cradle a strip of processed and delicious bacon, omelette and pork meat.
The combined feeling of guilt and joy while tucking in to our £1s worth of processed shit is something unique to modern man. Try explaining that feeling to our Nineteenth Century counterparts - eating something we know is terrible, and will make us feel worse, and is made up of very little which could be considered food, but relishing in the feeling, "It's a bit like drinking typhoid water because you like the taste.” Hats off to Greggs, all is forgiven, McDonalds had better up their breakfast game.