Herman Cain's 5 Dumbest Moments

The Cain Train came to a shuddering halt yesterday when Herman pulled out of the Republican Presidential race. Here he is at his idiotic worst...
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The Cain Train has broken down. On Saturday, Herman Cain pulled out of the GOP Presidential Nominee race, in order to run a website instead. Cain was a genuine front-runner, now his hopes have been dashed due to an alleged 13-year affair with the spectacularly named Ginger White. This allegation coupled with a number of alleged sexual harassment claims from his past have all but ended his chances.

Since he is now a nullified threat to the world, we can enjoy his Top 5 dumbest moments.

5. Herman Cain on Islam

During the campaign Cain outlined how he would never hire a Muslim to any government position.

Cocksure bigotry at it’s finest, the sort of madness you might hear from a wonky grandparent at Christmas, not from a potential President of the United States. Yet Cain had been saying this about Muslims for months, way before he even became a front-runner. This unfounded hatred and ignorance should have stopped “The Cain Train” in its tracks, it didn’t, and he was to become even more popular. To offend and castigate nearly 25% of the world’s population in such a way is a great deal more offensive than having it away behind your wife’s back for 13 years.

4. Herman Cain on Foreign Policy Knowledge

Foreign Policy was always going to be a problem for Cain. When questioned on what he would say if the inevitable question of “Who is the president of X country?” occurred he responded:

“When they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say, ‘You know, I don’t know. Do you know?’

As fellow Republican Condoleezza Rice exclaimed after this: “Well, I think in retrospect it probably wasn’t a great thing to say if you’re running for president.” A slight understatement from Rice there.

What made this pathetic response even stranger was that, when asked the same question about “Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan” a month later he still didn’t know. He and his team of advisors had gone out of their way not to find it out. Cain wore his ignorance as a badge of honour. Although, thanks to his staunch Islamaphobia he would have pretty upset when he found out that the President of Uzbekistan is named Islam Karimov. Ignorance is bliss.

3. Herman Cain on Libya

As demonstrated over the “Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan” fiasco, Cain was criticised on his foreign policy knowledge. For a man devoid of any poliitcal conviction or knowledge Cain had no idea how to respond on subjects he knew nothing about. The best example being the cringeworthy response to a simple question on Libya:

“Which one is Libya?”

Cain looks like the student in class that didn’t do the required reading.

2. Herman Cain on facts and the poor

Any man that starts an opinion with “I don’t have facts to back this up but…” should be immediately ignored. However Herman Cain cares not for facts. He cares for the truth he conjures up in his own head.

Millions of people are either underemployed or unemployed in America today. There are more people looking for work than available jobs. Fewer jobs are created each quarter than people entering the job marketplace. Cain’s outdated, outmoded belief in the American philosophy of meritocracy shows just how separate from reality he is. Yet, at one point he was leading in the polls and polling better than Obama. Facts are overrated.

1. Herman Cain on reading

Shown up time and time again as someone who lacks even basic knowledge for such an important job as President of the United States, Cain went on the defensive. Reminding everyone of a certain cartoon President, claiming that the USA needs a “leader, not a reader.”

Cain is essentially saying here, I’m not smart, but I’ll surround myself with smart people so it will be ok. Cain embodied the anti-intellectual and anti-history creed of the extreme American right. Thank the lord for Ginger White and our skewed limits on who we allow to be President.

The fact is, Cain is and was an embarrassment to himself, the Republican Party and to America. Ignorant, sexist and blinkered people like Herman Cain shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near government. Yet in a land where Pizza is a vegetable, Herman Cain was nearly King.

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8:34 am, 23-Jul-2011

robin lee

great piece, plenty of good information. was the mother in the custody battle the ex of that east 17 singer, i remember that?

10:33 am, 23-Jul-2011


The fan is far bigger than most people think, and the shit hasn't really even begun to hit it yet, one suspects.

2:20 pm, 23-Jul-2011


Very interesting article and you're right, it does sound very 'London Noir'. Could almost be a Derek Raymond novel.

2:27 pm, 23-Jul-2011

John Moore

"Last March, Rees was cleared of Morgan’s murder" On a technicality ... police failure to disclose evidence. Full details here http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/mar/11/scotland-yard-murder-case-daniel-morgan?intcmp=239

2:45 pm, 23-Jul-2011

Seán Flynn

This story has fascinated me since I came over to London in the late 90s when I used to drink in the Golden Lion with a gang of builders. Even then, a decade after the murder, it wasn't a big topic in the bar but it certainly hadn't been forgotten. However, even the wildest bar-stool speculation couldn't have cooked up a conspiracy like this. The Morgan family want people to write to their MPs demanding a judicial enquiry; hard to say whether any resulting enthis would be another whitewash but it's .

2:47 pm, 23-Jul-2011

Seán Flynn

Last bit should read: hard to say whether any resulting enquiry this would be just another whitewash but it might be a start at least in trying to hold people to account.

5:56 pm, 23-Jul-2011

David B

This is an utterly fascinating piece. A top three all time Sabotage Times effort. Puts all the other "ten reasons why..." bollocks in their rightful place as purile tittle-tattle. Already I'm riveted. This episode is worthy of a major publisher signing a major advance to have a book written on it. Someone MUST take up the task because this deserves to be written about. Only trouble is... Who's risk it? If someone had the balls we may very well find even more bodies turning up or rather people disappearing or befalling some sort of misfortune. Who knows how deep this runs? No one really knows, but what we are able to reasonably suspect is that the lines of connect between the press, politics and serious criminality were never mutually exclusive. They are mixed up in the shit together and that is truly scary. Along with the Roberto Calvi murder, this is one of the most fascinating narratives of the London of which we don't know.

8:22 pm, 23-Jul-2011


I think that if - and knowing Cameron its a huge if - the whole sorry mess that is Ruperts play thing gets fully and honestly investigated most of the Politicos, a goodly proportion of the Met and other assorted scumbags are going to need breathing gear when the poo starts flying. However, who will call for a full and open investigation? The PM? Too much to hide methinks. Murdoch and his creeps may just have done us all a favour in a weird way. Who the hell is going to trust a MP with connections to his empire, let alone Met officers? I'd love to think that some good will come of it but for that to happen the US and A has to get involved as thats where he will hurt the most. Come on down Obama - we Brits need you!

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