If Pharmacists Made Soft Drinks...

Screw sugar-rushes, can the caffeine and forget the 'wings' Red Bull never gave you. The future of soft drinks is relaxed, full of fizz, hormones and er, cough medicine.
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While bored shitless I was searching the internet for something, to pull my attention away from any real work, and I tripped and fell upon a website from our over-excited nephews, the Americans.

The site is for a new drink called Drank Beverage. This passive-verbed can of pop is something unheard of in the UK so I investigated further into what the shit it was.

On the drink’s official Twitter page it states, “Drank is the world’s FIRST extreme relaxation beverage.” Allthough extreme relaxation sounds as if they mean death I think it’s a drink that’s supposed to be the antithesis of highly-caffeinated energy drinks. The company’s slogan is ‘Slow your Roll’ (whatever your roll may be) so is seemingly opposite to Red Bull which apparently 'Gives you Wings', and possibly heart failure.

What’s in the stuff ? Well, their website  gives you details of what actually gives your roll a slowing down, “Drank contains a combination of Valerian Root, Rose Hips, and Melatonin.” From what I understand it’s basically a grape-flavoured carbonated drink with a herb, a fruit, and… er… a synthetic hormone all designed to help you (you’ve guessed it) slow your effin roll.

Here is a video of some ‘zany’ yanks trying it out:

It all seems harmless enough but it looks like this fizz is based on a more sinister sip. The ‘Drank’ soft drink is probably emulating a codeine based concoction called ‘Purple Drank’  – a drink made popular among the hip hop community in the deep south of the United States, y’all.

According to Wikipedia (don’t worry it’s all been verified, probably) Purple Drank consists of, “Cough syrup [containing prescription-strength codeine and promethazine] and is typically mixed with ingredients such as Sprite soft drink and pieces of Jolly Rancher (wtf happened to them?) candy.”

This clip shows ‘Purple Drank’ aka ‘Sizzurp’ in action: 

Owners of Drank, Innovative Beverage Group Holdings, have yet to dip their purple-soaked toes in Britain; but that might be because the prescription-drugladen original, that it’s likely to be based on, isn’t that popular here.

Looking on drug forums people say it’s hard to get hold of the ingredients. To quote a UK user on drugs-forum.com, “I’ve been trying to make some sizzurp for a while [but] it obviously isn’t a big thing over here in the UK. It’s basically impossible to buy prescription cough medicine on the street.” Other people mostly say it’s shit rather than the shizznit.

Perhaps if the British public acquires a penchant for purply-cough-syrupy-Sprite, Drank will venture to the UK. But, to be fair, beer does enough to slow our roll as it is – so it’s probably best left for our hoarse-throated half-cousins across the lake.