Kim Jong-Il In Numbers

Kim Jong-il, leader of North Korea, lover of water slides and the greatest golfer the world has ever seen has died at the age of 69. He also spent $700k a year on Cognac...
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1. Playing golf for the first time, Kim Jong-il’s 17 bodyguards were happy to verify that their dear leader had in fact shot 11 holes-in-one to finish the full-size 18 hole course with an incredible score of 38 under par – making him hands down the greatest golfer the world has ever seen.

2. The ‘supreme leader’ was only 5 ft 3 (a few more inches with his platform shoes) but hated his height so much that he ordered the kidnapping of thousands of North Korea’s most vertically challenged in a bid to stop them from polluting the country’s gene pool.

3. He once bought 12 giant rabbits (we’re talking the size of dogs) from a German breeder, convinced that they were the answer to North Korea’s food shortage – plans to build a breeding farm were later dismantled amidst rumours that hungry Kim had eaten all 12 of the giants in celebration of his 60th birthday.

4. He had at least 17 mansions and despite all being more secretive than Fort Knox, the wonders of Google Earth revealed that one of Kim’s properties featured a swimming pool and an amazing network of water slides. We can only imagine the pool parties that must have gone down.

5. Kim Jong-il paid South Korea’s most famous film director $3m a year to make propaganda films – including the Godzilla-esque Pulgasari – after having him and his actress wife kidnapped, smuggled to North Korea and imprisoned for five years.

6. He spent $700k a year on Cognac - must have been for those pool parties.

7. 250 pictures are archived on the blog named 'Kim Jong-il looking at things.' You can probably guess what the pictures look like.

8. The North Korean leader was such a film buff, he had a collection of more than 20,000 DVDs and VHS tapes and apparently loved Friday 13th . Unfortunately we’ll never know what he made of Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s portrayal of him in Team America.

9. 'Our Father' was a colloquial term for Kim Jong-il but he is survived by three sons and a daughter of his own. Although there isn’t any official information about his marital history, it’s believed he had three mistresses and was married once.

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