“You know I can be found, sitting home all alone, if you can’t come around, at least please telephone – Don’t be cruel, to a heart that’s true”…
…So go the lyrics to the first Elvis Presley song I ever heard. It’s a shame no one actually listened to them because if someone had telephoned, perhaps the king could have been saved from that fatal moment on the toilet. None the less, we all prefer to remember Elvis as the handsome young guy who girls threw their panties at and not the tragic figure who wheezed away on the piano trying to grunt out a sweaty rendition of Unchained Melody.
Those were the years we try to block out. Like finding out Santa isn’t real (sorry kids) or discovering how World Cup hosting rights are really won (sorry Becks), fat Elvis is a hard truth to take.
There is an argument raging, amongst people who have nothing better to do, that the King always added crispy bacon.
Thankfully he did leave one tasty morsel behind in his later years that we can all celebrate - the fried peanut butter and banana sandwich. There exists an actual Presley cookbook which, considering how he died, should probably be avoided. For example, only the most suicidal fans would launch into his “Fools Gold Loaf” - a loaf of Italian bread filled with a pound of bacon, peanut butter, and grape jelly. We’ll just stick to this one simple sandwich which I can tell you is particularly great for a hangover. So next time you wake up with tramp breath and a pocket full of receipts from bars you don’t remember, get out the frying pan and pay homage to the jumpsuit genius.
Here’s how to make it:
- Mash one ripe banana
- Toast two big thick slices of white bread
- Spread one slice with peanut butter. According to Elvis, it must be crunchy. Smooth is more for fans of Cliff Richard.
- Spread the other side with your mashed banana.
- Smash them together and fry it in heart stopping amounts of butter until both sides are golden brown
- Then cut it on the diagonal and enjoy.
There is an argument raging, amongst people who have nothing better to do, that the King always added crispy bacon. I’ll leave that optional extra up to you. At this stage, I’m not comfortable with further fuelling a nation of obese heart patients.
You may never be able to sing like Elvis, gyrate your hips like him or catch girls’ undies on your face like him, but today you can start eating like him. And if you want to take it even further, with recipes such as Priscilla’s wedding cake, check out that official book of Presley’s favourite foods “Are You Hungry Tonight”, available on Amazon. Sadly, I’m not even making that name up.
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