5 Reasons Nick Cave Is The Greatest

He'll make sure God is always in the House and is the living embodiment of artistic integrity. First of all, though, let's talk about that 'tache...


More musically talented than Kylie, more sexually aggressive than Russell Crowe and more enjoyable than Vegemite. There's almost no doubt that Nick Cave is the best thing to ever come out of the Australian outback. It's been a long time since the Nick Cave And The Bad Seed's 2008 comeback smash Dig!!! Lazarus, Dig!!! Nick has finally announced a new album, Push The Sky Away, which will be released in February. To celebrate, here's my top reasons that we all need to pay our respects to this actual living legend...

1. His moustache
Look at it. It's beautiful. Long before Movember was a thing and Dig!!!… was new, Nick was boasting a soup strainer of epic proportions. Whether it was to make up the thinning on top or just to look even more like a crooked coked-up 70's cop, it's hard to say. But either way it makes him all the more sinister. Sadly the 'tash has left the Bad Seeds to pursue a solo career elsewhere, but in its stead stands Warren Ellis' magnificent face fuzz. It's a small miracle that it doesn't get stuck in his violin.

2. Grinderman

Not so much of a moment as the last gasp of an ageing man's sexual desires before he gives up the ghost, Grinderman was disgusting. Though he recently called time on the group, over two awesome albums they managed to take out all the subtlety that Cave and his Seeds (no pun intended) crafted into their songs, and instead just announced their desire to fornicate with your Mother. Or your daughter. Or both. From the filth of No Pussy Blues to Worm Tamers' proclamation about being just the Loch Ness Monster ("Two great big humps and I'm gone"), Grinderman is the perfect soundtrack to the school janitor who spends too long lurking around the girl's changing rooms.


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3. His Film Cameo

Usually the only thing more painful than a musician trying to act is an actor trying to make music [refer back to Russell Crowe], but being the infinitely cool guy that he is, Nick has an impressive Film CV. From writing a rejected sequel to Gladiator, both The Proposition and Lawless as well their accompanying soundtracks, he's even cameoed in a few. My favourite is his brief appearance in 2007's The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, where he pisses off a drunken Ford (played by Casey Affleck) with a merry tune about how much of a cowardly dickhead he is for killing Jesse James, and is lucky not to get shot. Smooth going.

4. The Death of Bunny Munro

Nick Cave is a disturbing man. The Death of Bunny Munro, Cave's story about a man addicted to sex who has to look after his young son after his wife's suicide, is a grim read. Bunny has sex with everything that moves, and every insight into his mind leaves you feeling that little bit dirtier. Things reach a grotesque peak when old Bunny gets hot under the collar listening to Kylie and thinking about her tiny shorts,  pulls over for a quick hand shandy into a crusty sock he keeps under his car seat in emergencies. That Cave isn't questioned by Police over every sex crime under the sun is a mystery.

5. Tupelo

Though for me Let Love In was where the band hit their peak, Tupelo may be their greatest single moment. No one else could give a tune about the birth of Elvis the musical magnitude equivalent to the most epic parts of the Bible and then some. All over an evil rumbling bass line. Though it may be almost 30 years old, this seven-minute beast still rocks like a bastard.