Linkin Park - Lost In The Echo
The sound of a thousand teenagers refusing to tidy their room, against all hope and common sense Linkin Park are as yet to be put forward for Channels 4's Euthanasia Live programme and instead release 'Lost In The Echo', full of the type of clichés a man in a backwards baseball cap would deem poetry, shortly before crushing a can of Budweiser against his head. The screams at the end of the song aren't those of Chester Bennington's, but in fact that of music being raped of its enjoyment.
Nas ft Amy Winehouse - Cherry Wine
Rattling around in corpses is a grim and nasty business, however 'Cherry Wine' scrapes through with a fag end of integrity, having a Winehouse guide vocal float around your chorus is a dubious decision, not as severe as the butchery other catalogues have received (The Jackson estate, this is entirely directed at you), but lets agree to leave Wino there before someone try's to cobble together some chords for 'two grams and a can of fanta'.
Nicki Minaj - Va Va Voom
Pop fembot Minaj's latest track 'Va Va Voom' is an ode to banging men who she knows full well she shouldn't 'I know he got a wife at home, but I need one night alone' did you take nothing from Emily Parkhurst? Germaine Greer? is Beyonce just a foot solider to you? the sisterhood Minaj, what about the sisterhood!
Conor Maynard ft Ne Yo - Turn Around
The Brighton based Beiber clone was left resembling a plasters radio after EMI spotted his video on the YouTube a year back, now teams up with the consistently available Ne-Yo for a exercise in the obvious, it's dance pop done with little imagination. As a side note- Ne-Yo, my mum sings in the local village choir, they need someone to shout 'ooohhh baaaaaby' during the chorus for next years harvest festival, fancy it?
Josh Otto - Giants
'These aren't ordinary times' really Josh? Seriously? I'm going to have you stop you there, if I repeatedly stamped 'ordinary' across your forehead before fisting helium filled balloons spelling out the word 'ordinary' directly into your rectal passage, then attempting to recreate the premise of the motion picture 'Up' that wouldn't be 'ordinary' would it? No Joshy-pots it wouldn't, this song however is about as memorable, and as welcome, as the onset of amnesia.
King Krule – Rock Bottom
With a voice so thick it could tarmac the motorways of this county with little to no trouble, 'Rock Bottom' by King Krule is the voice you hear coming from the darkness that makes you check imaps for alternate routes, he grunts like a thug, but looks like a choirboy. With jazz inflections, hip hop patterns all recorded on a Fisher Price guitar down a long distance telephone line, it's quite simply as exciting as that sounds; put down your sodding latte and listen to it.
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