This Week's Singles: One Direction Line Their Chinos

Styles and co return with another soporific pop outing, whilst Mika teams up with a Neptune for a tune that that will only have the most ardent fan celebrating...
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One Direction – Live While We’re Young

Coming off as a sexual charged skunk, Zayn takes the majority of the vocals on this barrel scrapping pop paper weight, the main refrain being the 'tonight we're going to get some' which seems entirely inevitable with the video ending up in an oiled up paddling pool, it's pop with a forensic eye for its consumer (and their pocket money).

Mika -  Celebrate

'I took time out to find out about me'.  You're lying to us aren't you Mika? Why you lie Mika? A man who'd clearly petrol bomb an orphanage for a hit record now has Pharrell's nephews bound and gagged in his basement, thus explaining his appearance in this mediocre bag of spanners, a comeback as welcome as cholera.

Alt J – Something Good

Alt j have tastemakers coming over all unnecessary, it's moody, spare and not unlike Vampire Weekend before their morning Yakult. Something Good is the sound of a Channel 4 advert, all pensive looks and empty shots of the M4, eventually revealing that Hollyoakes has gone ‘late night'

Ellie Goulding – Anything Could Happen

Ellie Golding re-enters the snake pit that is the female pop market, having pick axed Little Boots to death in a street fight reminiscent of Rocky 5, Ellie has dialled down the wispy nonsense and snorted the dust of a sub-woofer. To solidify her status she has even shaved her head on one side, WHAT WILL THE NEIGHBOURS SAY?

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