If, like me these days, you have eschewed all your real-life responsibilities in favour of talking about coats on the internet full-time, you will have heard of The Sarcastialist. North Liverpool's premier fashion Tweeter takes the fine work of street style blogs such as The Sartorialist and injects them with some much-needed kitchen sink melodrama. Photos of beret-wearing bicycle couriers and over-dressed Pitti Uomo attendees are expanded upon and given a back-story. More often than not involving Greggs.
We caught up with the man behind the internet phenomenon, to find out what's happening in his world...
What does 'Street Style' mean to you?
At the moment it means spending many hours on my own, staring at Twitter and repeatedly hitting refresh on the ‘mentions’ button like a sad get.
I’m constantly almost at the stage where I want someone to delete the account for me, then I see someone post a nice comment and I think “fuck it, the kids’ tea can wait, I’ll just do a couple more”. Next thing you know it’s 3am and I’m struggling to find a 140 character way to write about someone getting run over because a pizza box flapped up in their face and blinded them.
Where in the world are people best dressed?
I’d say North Liverpool, obviously excluding Waterloo & Crosby. I think the people of Bootle, Seaforth and Litherland understand style without even having to try.
I reckon cities like Amsterdam, London, New York and whatnot are a bit overrated in terms of fashion. Everyone looks like a gallery owner, or an art student, or like they’re in a band - I think if you fix photocopiers you should look like you fix photocopiers, to save you from disappointing others.
What do you expect from Fall/Winter this year?
This year, for me, it’s going to be all about the ‘office casual’ look. You know like when you’ve just got home from work, you’re a bit fucked, it’s raining, and you’ve got to run out to the garage for Koka noodles and leccy.
I’m predicting that cheap suit kecks with shiny knees, half untucked white shirt, novelty slippers and a grey or burgundy leather is going to be a massive look for F/W.
Who are your personal style icons?
Mark E. Smith is a personal favourite, as is smackhead-era Jimmy Corkhill.
I also like the bright green tops they wear in the Asda - I bought a fleece in the same green once but it meant I had to steer clear of the Asda by ours, because people kept asking me where stuff was and I felt bad telling them to fuck off.
People keep thinking that you're me on the internet, what're we going to do about that?
Are you offering me out here? You don’t scare me lad - if you want to straighten this out I’m happy to meet up. I’ll even travel to Skem if that’s easier for you.
To be honest, I’m not going to do anything about it, because if people think you’re me then you can act as a crank magnet and take all the shit for the jokes that don’t work. I’m perfectly happy for you to be The Sarcastialist - In fact, I don’t even know why you bothered sending me these questions instead of just answering them yourself.
What's next for The Sarcastialist?
Probably just more of the same stupidity, until that joke isn’t funny anymore.
Follow The Sarcastialist on Twitter