The Premier League might get on your nerves and agents might make you scream, but it has nothing on the ten most bent leagues in the world and the hookers, murderers and extortionists who populate them...
Forget about stats and other boring nonsense, what you really need to know is that Joachim Low is addicted to a particular sweet, or even what Anders Svensson does with his washing machine...
Fears of terrorist attacks, tales of money-grabbing players and, in the end, the Germans walk away with the trophy. This is the story of the 1974 World Cup but in many ways it could be today's.