So, five days in and I’m assuming everyone’s fucked off their New Year’s Resolutions by now. Let’s face it, as good as it may have sounded in the dying mulled-wine soaked days of 2010, there is realistically bugger all chance of you actually running a marathon, getting a six-pack or writing a novel this year so you might as well stop going on about it. The New You is an impossible dream that will never ever happen so you’ll just have to plough on with the shitty fucking actual you for at least another year.
You can, however, resolve to go to the cinema more. It will be the ideal pastime for a recession-hit 2011 – it’s relatively cheap, they have free central heating there and it gives you the chance to escape the unbridled misery of real life for a few hours by pretending you’re a wizard!
Here our some of our picks for films and film stars to look out for over the next 12 months:
A big Oscar contender this year is The Fighter starring Mark Walberg as Micky “Irish” Ward, a working class boy from Lowell, Massachusetts trying to make it big in the world of boxing (or as it’s pronounced in this film, “bwarksing”). Christian Bale plays Micky’s brother Dicky, himself a forming boxing pro, whose life has descended into a nightmare of drug addiction and crime. Bale delivers an amazingly twitchy performance in the film – resembling a kind of crack-addled Popeye – and is a good bet for Best Supporting Actor.
After a smallish role in The Social Network (she was the girl at the start who dumped Mark Zuckerberg) Mara will star this year in the film adaptation of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (the book for people who don’t like books) opposite Daniel Craig.
Richard Ayoade, star of The IT Crowd and the excellent Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place, makes his directorial debut with Submarine, a coming-of-age comedy set in Wales. I was supposed to see it just before Christmas but was unable to attend the screening for reasons of extreme personal drunkenness. I’ve heard it’s amazing though.
Stars in Danny Boyle’s upcoming true-life drama, 127 Hours, as a hiker who gets trapped in a deserted Utah canyon for five days when a boulder falls onto his arm. This results in him having no option but to hack off the offending limb with his trusty penknife, a scene so gruesomely realistic that three members of the audience fainted at a Toronto screening and one had a seizure. He also stars in the upcoming Allen Ginsberg biopic, Howl, which is not quite as bloody but still really great.
Apparently, the third Monday of January is the saddest day of the year – the day when statistically your relationship is most likely to fail. In which case, you may not be massively up for seeing Blue Valentine – which stars Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams as a couple whose marriage is coming to an end. Director Derek Cianfrance creates a touching and at times almost unbearably heartbreaking anti-love story, which cuts back and forth between the passionate early days of the relationship and the cold hopelessness of its long decline. It makes for a viscerally accurate portrayal of what it’s actually like to be involved in a real-life adult relationship (or, at least, what I imagine that would be like..)
Mmmmm *rubs hands vigourously over thighs* she’s nice. Ukrainian-born Mila Kunis is best known for her comedy roles, having played the outrageously hot receptionist in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and provided the voice of Meg in Family Guy. This has made her the ultimate fantasy of teenage boys (and, in my case, 28-year-old men) the world over. In 2011 she’s taking on more serious work, starring alongside Natalie Portman in Darren Aronofsky’s ballet drama Black Swan.
Stars in It’s Kind of a Funny Story and, later in the year, the follow-up to The Hangover. Also, if you haven’t seen it, I can heartily recommend checking out his web series Between Two Ferns on Funny or Die where he interviews various Hollywood A-Listers and usually ends up saying something horrifically inappropriate. Example: (to Natalie Portman) “You shaved your head for V for Vendetta, did you also shave your V for Vagina?”
Finally, sometime around June will see the release of the big screen version of The Inbetweenerswhich sees the boys set off on a post-exam trip to Malia in Crete. The script of the movie was recently leaked to The Sun and apparently features Jay finding love with a “fat pig from outerspace”, the gang nearly killing themselves on suicide shots and Will spending the entire holiday with sunburn on his back in the shape of a penis. Sounds ace.
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