Jorge Mendes: Ronaldo Will Never Return To Man United
According to recent reports, Portuguese super-agent Jorge Mendes is one of the richest men in football. In his little black book of clients he can list Jose Mourinho and practically everyone he's ever signed, pretty much everyone in Portugal and Spain who matters and a certain Cristiano Ronaldo.
The agent has also insisted that the Portuguese current World Player Of The Year will stay at Real Madrid "forever". Like for eternity, I guess, Ronaldo's gonna roam the catacombs of the Bernabeu as a particularly swarthy ghost.
Although, that being said - and I'm sure they're probably mates, right, and makes like to big up their mates - when Jorge Mendes told The Guardian that there won't be a player better than Ronaldo for fucking FIVE CENTURIES you have to wonder about the validity of the rest of what comes out of his mouth, especially when Messi is a few hundred miles away being all like "lol, mate..." and searching "side eye reaction gif" on Google.
Five hundred years, like. Christ.