Deep Fried Mars Bar and Two Pickled Onions Please

We don't want fine dining with fancy scraps on a plate when we eat out, here in Britain we want kebabs on a spinning stick and deep fat fried everything...
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We don't want fine dining with fancy scraps on a plate when we eat out, here in Britain we want kebabs on a spinning stick and deep fat fried everything...

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What do we want? Lard! When do we want it? Now! The Great British public knows that the best food is the fastest, and if it can be eaten on a bench with a plastic fork in the rain, even better. Behold the top 5 tastiest British takeaways:

Fish and Chips

The smell of fish and chips is enough to reduce most British people – myself included – to a pile of quivering mush(y peas). It’s the smell of the seaside, of youthful after school indulgence, teenage first dates, nights on the tiles, Saturdays at your grans. A bag of fish and chips isn’t just cod and potatoes, deep-fried within an inch of its life. That zing of vinegar and the warm weight of a bag of chips in your hand is the very essence of being British. It’s enough to bring salty tears to the eye.

Doner Kebab

Don’t let the revolving meat slab put you off the late night delights of the doner. All you need to enjoy it is a positive frame of mind and some gastric bravery. I mean, just think of the components of your average kebab. Pitta bread. Pile of meat. SALAD. It’s actually quite healthy and one of your five a day - maybe.

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