10 Great Quotes from What Britain Loves

Our writers have been providing all the content for T-Mobile's new What Britain Loves campaign. Here are the top 10 funniest quotes...
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Our writers have been providing all the content for T-Mobile's new What Britain Loves campaign. Here are the top 10 funniest quotes...

Here at Sabotage Times some of our top writers have been busy providing great content for T-Mobile's new What Britain Loves campaign. Some of the work is hilarious and uniquely British in ways only Sabotage Times could think of.

Here are some of the best lines from the What Britain Loves campaign...

1.Tom Greaney on returning soap stars: The return of an old soap character tends to lead to a new thrilling storyline. Often a soap that has been dawdling along amid half-hearted narratives suddenly blasts into life with a gangland story involving shoot-outs, explosions and low-level swearwords. Returning soap characters are the best. They remind us of our youth, get us chatting to our grandparents and make our soaps great again. Now, if only they could bring Wellard the dog back from the dead... Read Here

2.Lucy Sweet on handbag detritus: Every time I see a nice handbag I want to know what women are hiding in there. Are we really carrying round lipstick and compact mirrors like movie stars? Are our bags as good-looking on the inside as on the patent leather/snakeskin/designer outside? Or are they a black hole of snotty tissues and old scratchcards, bolt cutters and severed heads? Read Here

3.Jon Wilde on Bazooka Joe: A bubble gum and a comic all in one, Bazooka Joe launched in the US shortly after WW2, and became a sensation among British kids looking to adopt some American cool. Such was its dry, flaky consistency that blowing bubbles with it was a highly prized art. The miniature comic strip always raised a laugh. As if that wasn’t enough, wrapper coupons could be collected to secure tantalising, state-of-the-art prizes. X-Ray specs that enabled the wearer to see through clothes was, unsurprisingly, a hugely popular choice. Read Here

4.Rebecca Lomax on DJ Granny: Performing under the stage name of Mamy Rock, the energetic pensioner rocks up to the decks dressed head to toe in bling. Ditching cardigans and tweed in favour of trainers, tracksuits and cool shades, she’s even got a hip spiky silver hair-do to match. Read Here

5.Tow Law on pub quizzes: At the start of the night you genuinely think you have a chance. You torture yourself trying to remember the name of that Shakira track used as the official anthem of the 2010 World Cup. You squint and gurn in search of the answer. You furiously fidget and drum your pen on the table. You fight the urge to sneak a peak at Google on your smart-phone. Read Here

6.Dave Lee on leaving gloves on gateposts: No matter that it’s been the hottest July on record, the reservoirs are empty and there is a hosepipe ban in force in every part of the country, the glove will always be damp. Read Here

7.Gary Evans on Christmas annuals: They’re a festive staple. Like pigs in blankets and mulled wine, bad jokes and party hats, the Great Escape and inter-family bickering. Each generation has their own personal favourite, but the best ones have been around for over 70 years. PS3, Nintendo DS, Pokemon, Furby, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, Stay Puft Marshmallow Man… Christmas toy sensations come and go. The humble annual has outlived them all. Read Here

8. Lucy Sweet on fish pedicures: Having the dead skin chomped off your feet by a shoal of ravenous sea monkeys should be most people’s idea of hell. But adventurous Brits have latched onto fish pedicures like a barnacle to a rock. Read Here

9. Rebecca Lomax on punny shop names: Battersea Cod’s Home, Sofa So Good, Austin Flowers, Paws For Good, Pizza The Action, Junk & Disorderly… the punny shop title is a British institution. Read Here

10.Russ Litten on novelty records: From ‘Yes! We Have No Bananas’ to the Crazy Frog, we’ll take slapstick lunacy over furrowed brow musicianship any day of the week. Read Here

Visit What Britain Loves for more great articles.

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