Post-Bad Bitches Of The Week: October 6

Close the door and set your eyeballs to stunned as I take you through the best pictures of the last 7 days from the best Twitter account of all time...
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Close the door and set your eyeballs to stunned as I take you through the best pictures of the last 7 days from the best Twitter account of all time...

You may remember a few months ago when we told you about a Twitter feed that caught our eye. Now these kinds of feeds come and go (Vice Is Hip is one such example which burnt out about as quickly as it arrived) but Post-Bad Bitches, a seemingly never-ending collection of the hottest women you have ever seen with your eyes, stays strong.

Here are a few of my favourites this week...

404

Christ. I don't think I'd be able to handle my shit if a wave of birds that size, of that quality came my way. It'd leave a path of destruction like a really sexy tsunami only instead of millions of deaths and billions of pounds worth of structural damage, there'd just be a whole bunch of emasculated blokes passive-aggressively tweeting. If I had to pick a favourite it'd probably be the one second from the left (who looks like she's spends more time in the gym than I do online) or the one in the glasses in the middle. Look at the size of those sunnies, though - you just know that the size of them are relative to the amount of pain she'd inflict on your tiny beating heart.

404

I've never seen anything like that in my entire life. Look at it. It's magical. That top sheet must be about a seven-hundred thread count, you can just tell. I can feel my bank account ebbing away the more I look at it. Also there's some bloke in that room who is all like, "Hey yeah, let me just take a picture of you half-naked... No no, pretend you're asleep 'cos that'd be way sexier" like that's even a thing. Side-bar: her backside is so perfectly round that Euclidean geometrists have started using it diagrams of Thales' theorem.

404

First off: that's not proper underwear, is it? I'm not expert but I'm pretty sure there are elements missing. Anyway, looking like a peak-Jennifer Lopez and having an arse which has surely been classified as a weapon of ass-destruction (yep), you can just tell that she'd ride you until your pelvis was pulverised. Your entire groin area would have the structural integrity of a bag of smashed sea-shells and you'd do it again too, because what is a bit of time spent in a wheelchair when you get to have sex with someone that hot for about twenty-five seconds?

404

Was it Family Guy that really introduced the world to side-boob? I'm sure people had done it before but not since Seth McFarlane called it out on his show did it become so popular. I'm not complaining, I just feel a pang of guilt having to drop to my knees in praise of a show which usually features jokes about as sharp as nectarine. Besides the aforementioned, there's just so much going on. My eyes don't know where to settle. You just know that your Mum would hate her and your Dad would kick you out of a moving car just to try and get a seat opposite her at the dinner table.

404

I could never attempt to 'chat-up' someone like that. I'm pretty sure that I end up just standing under that balcony for a few hours instead of actually trying to approach her. It would be too much. It'd be like Romeo & Juliet only Juliet is a post-bad girl covered in tatts (one of which appears to be Chunk from The Goonies in a pair of aviators) and Romeo would be a hysterically shaking waif of a man looking up at her like a hillbilly in the sticks looking up at a spaceship, knowing he's about ten minutes away from one helluva anal probe.

She's really hot, is what I'm trying to say.

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