Charles fills his days contemplating his mediocrity while combining the worlds of Bed and Breakfast propriety and construction. While referring to himself in the third person, he also likes to complain about Arsenal, look into how to change the rules of sports for the better. He has had full sex with a woman but will forever look like an uncool version of Boris Johnson. One day he might even escape the Scottish Borders. Occasional ramblings can be found on The Online Gooner or on his neglected Twitter @cebrooker..