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Jim Keoghan

Sabotaging since 5 May 2011

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My Articles

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Football

An Everton Fan On Why Scousers Hate The National Team

Englishness has nothing to do with life in Liverpool and has more to do with the lives of the people who are happy for the city to suffer and then probably laugh as the media portrays us as thieves and scumbags.

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Sport

The 5 Crappest Trophies In English Football

Often overlooked are histories footballing blunders, especially the tournaments and cups which were actually pretty shit…

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Football

From Man United To FCUM: Setting Up A Punk Football Club

Heard of Punk Football? FC United of Manchester have…

2
Sport

Do I Have To Support England At The World Cup?

Here’s why one Liverpudlian just can’t bring himself to “support the boys” over in Brazil…

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Football

Everton Season Review 13/14: Financial Inequality, But We’re On Brink Of Being Huge

Clever transfer business, thrilling football and a brilliant new manager, 2013/14 could be the start of something special for Everton…

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Football

Everton Are Proof It’s Possible To Punch Above Your Weight In Prem

Playing some of the best football we’ve ever seen at Goodison, Martinez has transformed Moyes dour, efficient side into a team that can truly challenge the big guns…

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Football

Everton Fan: Man United, Don’t Trust Moyes With A £200m War Chest

As Moyes returns to Everton today, Toffees’ fans are all too familiar with his terrible transfer dealings…

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Sport

How Corporate Football Has Killed The Teams We Once Loved

Football clubs care little about the fans or communities which they’re founded on these days, choosing instead to cater for corporate sponsors and fair-weather fans. It’s time we asked ourselves what we’re really supporting.

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Music

The Death Of Local Music Tribes

Shoegazing, Madchester, Merseybeat, all genres rooted to a geographical location. The internet has changed all of this, but also gives us more access to bands from scenes split by land and sea…

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Football

Everton: Martinez, Toffee-Taka & Laughing At Moyes’ Shortcomings

I honestly thought he would be the second coming of Mike Walker, but in reality it hasn’t been this much fun being an Evertonian for a long time…

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Football

Merseypride My A***: Why There’s No Love Lost In Everton vs Liverpool

Liverpool versus Everton. ‘The Friendly Derby’… Not so fast with your footballing clichés. The Merseyside clash has vitriol in abundance and is all the better for it.

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Football

My Everton Nightmare: Mike Walker - The Name To Make Any Bluenose Shudder

Walker had worked wonders at Norwich, but his luck had run out by the time he arrived at Goodison Park. He pretended we were his real life version of Championship Manager and took us to the brink of relegation. Thank god for Joe Royale…

Football

An Everton Fan’s Guide To The Transfer Window: Man Utd Beware, Moyes Lacks Class

I can’t blame Fellaini and Baines for wanting to move, but our ex-manager taking advantage of our cash-strapped team is an insult.

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Football

Luis Suarez: An Evertonian’s Guide To Improving Your Media Image

A few helpful suggestions for Liverpool’s Luis Suarez to improve his media image and continue to ply his trade in this country

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Football

Everton End of Season Review: Benteke Could Be The Goalscorer We Need Without Moyes

David Moyes goes with our best wishes, but the club must aim to keep Leighton Baines….

Football

Why Moyes May Not Be The Man For Manchester United

David Moyes has done consistently well at Everton on a shoestring budget but can he produce the goods at the very top? This Everton fan isn’t so sure.

Football

An Evertonian’s Admiration For Jamie Carragher: Blue, Brilliant & Not A P****

This was difficult to write but, respect where it’s due, Carragher might play for the red s**** but there’s a lot to admire, not least his penchant for sitting cross-legged…

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Football

Everton: What If… Heysel Had Never Happened?

The disaster saw English teams banned from competing in Europe for five years and after Everton had recently won the 1985 first division title, it could have been so different for the Toffees had 39 fans not lost their lives that fateful May day.

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Football

Everton Deserved A Point, Wenger & Arsenal Should Toughen Up & Stop Moaning

There was nothing wrong with Everton stifling Arsenal’s creativity to earn themselves a valuable draw.

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Football

Everton Will Crash The European Party With Anichebe Firing On All Cylinders

After initially struggling to fulfil his early potential as a youngster, Anichebe is finally coming of age and has become Everton’s number one striker.

Football

Everton: If We Played For The Full 90, We’d Be Second

A draw was a fair result, but we came so close to snatching all three at White Hart Lane. If only Everton learnt how to focus for the full 90 minutes, Champions League football would already be guaranteed.

Football

Mirallas Is Back, Now Everton Can Crash The Top Four Party

Poor form and injuries aside, the Belgian could be the player that would see Everton make a last push for a top four finish and a place in the Champions League.

Football

Watch Out Premier League, Everton Are Back

After a weekend to forget following the FA Cup capitulation to Wigan, a win over City was graciously welcomed. Can Everton reach Europe this season? Between now and May, anything can happen.

Football

My Greatest FA Cup Moment: Everton’s Andy Gray v Watford, 1984

He’s now more famous for saying ‘take a bow son’ but Andy Gray was a helluva player, especially with his bonce…

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Football

Everton Need Last Season’s Jelavic Back If They’re To Take All Three Points Off Of Reading

The Croatian continues to fail to hit the target and Everton will need Jelavic to find his shooting boots once again if they’re to finish ahead of Liverpool in the Premier League, starting with Reading today.

Football

With Fourth A Pipedream, Everton Need FA Cup Success To Keep Hold Of Moyes

After the weekend’s defeat to Norwich left us with slim chances of finishing fourth, Everton need to string together a decent FA cup run, lest Moyes decides he’s had enough…

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Football

Everton’s Self-Inflicted Wounds Kill Off Champions League Dream

For the first time in many a year the Toffees seemed to be going places. A top-four finish, stacks of cash and key players staying. It was too good to be true…

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Football

Everton: Take Advantage Of United’s Hectic Fixture List & Three Points Are In The Bag

Whenever Manchester United and Everton face off, it’s more often than not vitriol free. While the hostilities will remain on the pitch, a win over the Red Devils is possible with Real Madrid looming.

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Football

Everton: We’ll Need To Win The Midfield Battle To Secure All Three Points

Osman, Pienaar and Fellaini will all need to be on song for the welcome of Villa to Goodison. If they provide the goals, it’s surely going to end in an Everton win.

Football

A Top Four Finish Is More Important To Everton Than Winning The FA Cup

We have Tim Howard to thank for progressing to the fifth round of the FA Cup, but I’d rather Everton established themselves as a Champions League side rather than land domestic glory.

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Football

Everton: It’s Time To Drop The Wobbly Jelly For Anichebe

Jelavic was again misfiring during the St. Mary’s stalemate and now is a good a time as any to relegate him to the Everton bench to accommodate the more explosive Anichebe.

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Football

Arsenal’s Cazorla & The PL XI To Defeat The Biased FIFPro Xl

No Premier League players in the FIFPro World XI? As if FIFA would overlook the talents within the confines of England. Nevertheless, these 11 will showcase the talents of the Premiership.

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Football

Misfiring Jelavic Proves Everton Must Buy A New Striker To Secure A Top Four Finish

We’re continuously stuttering to draws in games we should win. The Jellyman hasn’t lived up to expectations and a top four place is slipping away. If Moyes wants to secure Champions League football, he needs to invest in striker this month.

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Football

Everton V Chelsea: Mutual Hatred Of The Waiter

Can Rafa silence his home and away boo boys and secure 3 points against an under-staffed Everton?

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Football

The Greatest Player I Ever Saw: Everton Hero ‘Big’ Neville Southall

You can keep your big name signings and hefty price tags, the best player to ever grace the Premier League is a goalkeeper that Everton bought from Bury for £150,000…

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Football

Everton’s Newly Found Brawn Should Destroy Wigan…If Only It Wasn’t Boxing Day

Everton have ditched their desire to be beautifully and have replaced it with a desire to win at all costs. If this fixture was to fall on any other day besides boxing day it would be a certified three points for the Toffees…

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Football

Everton: West Ham Win Changes Nothing, We Need To Invest In January

The referee had a nightmare yesterday, but three points is three points. Without Fellaini, it showcased the quality available to Moyes, but we still need to invest in January.

Football

Everton Half-Term Report: Sign Butland, Sell Nobody & Make The CL

It’s all going swimmingly at Goodison Park so far, and with a couple of new signings Moyes’ boys can be in the Champions League next year.

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Football

Everton: Fellaini’s Stupidity Could Cost Us Europe

The Divine Afro made the headlines for all the wrong reasons following his violent outbursts against Stoke City captain Ryan Shawcross. A hefty ban is expected to follow suit and his loss will see the Toffees fade away from the chasing pack.

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Football

I Don’t Care If We Use Brain Or Brawn As Long As Everton Get Three Points

Long ball or short passes, it doesn’t matter as long as the Toffees secure the win. It won’t be easy however, with the Potters unbeaten at home in 14 matches…

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Football

Everton: Now The Jellyman Is Scoring, Nothing Can Stop Our Top Four Assault

Last season we were lucky to scrape a 1-0 win against Spurs, yesterday we battered them and now we’re coming for Chelsea…

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Football

Can Everton Really Be Top Four Contenders? The Case For And Against

We held our own against Arsenal, and we’re still in a strong position to challenge for a European spot. But are we really capable of beating Spurs and Arsenal to claim a top four spot?

Football

Everton: Big Talk Of The Top Four Will Be Undone By Our Paper Thin Squad

A lack of investment in decent back up will end up costing the Toffees. Despite the great start to the campaign, the cracks in the squad are beginning to show.

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Everton: The Spirit Of Profilgacy Has Departed Anfield And Made Itself Home At Goodison

Last season Liverpool couldn’t hit a barn door, cue much amusement for Evertonians. After battering Reading, Sunderland and Fulham with only four points to show for it however, it’s now Everton who are shooting themselves in the foot…

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Football

Kevin Mirallas: Everton’s Most Exciting Player

Eden Hazard may have stolen the headlines, but there’s another new Belgian in blue ripping up Premier League defences…

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Clubs Should Follow Everton’s Model For Success

The Toffees find themselves higher up the league despite spending less than the Black Cats - they should taken our approach to spending…

Football

Everton: We’d Be A Top 5 Team…If Only We Took Our Chances

With Mirallas, Pienaar and Fellaini all dominating in midfield, the only missing ingredient for Everton is a clinical touch in front of goal. We need the ‘Jellyman’ back to his best…

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Football

Everton v Liverpool: From England’s El Clasico To A Forgotten War

In the mid 80s it was one of, if not the biggest derbies in the world. But finance and failure have resulted in both clubs falling from grace, and all that matters now is a win at all costs…

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Football

Everton: The Afro-Shaped Hole In Our Midfield Will Mean Defeat Against QPR

Marouane Fellaini has been Everton’s outstanding player of the season so far. But with pensioner Phil Neville taking his place in midfield the Champions League dream could take a hit vs QPR….

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Football

Phil Jagielka: Everton’s Defensive Stalwart Is Perfect For England

With England’s centre-back positions up for grabs, Jagielka’s steady rise to prominence comes as no surprise for Everton fans who have long appreciated his importance to Everton’s solidity…

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Football

Everton Fan: I Can’t Wait Until The League Cup Goes The Way Of The Dodo

For middling Premier League clubs like Everton, the League Cup should provide an easy chance of silverware. Yet still no one cares…

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Football

Sitting Pretty In Second After The Win Over Swansea: Could This Be Everton’s Year?

Everton fans chanted ‘We’re gonna win the league’ during their 3-0 win over Swansea City, but could there be an element of truth in the statement from the usual slow starters?

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Football

Everton’s Jose Baxter: Whatever Happened To The New Rooney

Jose Baxter going from teenage sensation to unemployed footballer by age 20 may seem like quite the journey to use football fans but in every generation of youngsters coming through, for every star there is a raft of talented young players who fail to fulfil their promise.

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Football

Marouane Fellaini: All Hail The Divine Afro

In the season’s first major shock The Toffees sank United, and on a superstar-packed pitch it was the marauding Belgian that made the difference…

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Football

Everton Fans’ Season Preview: Finish Above Liverpool And I’ll Be Happy

The Toffees have managed to keep hold of their most important players as well as bringing in a few new signings. A challenge for silverware hopefully awaits this season.

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Football

Everton: Losing Jack Rodwell Isn’t That Bad, Is It?

Injuries could hinder his development at City; he’ll be back at Goodison Park in a year or two.

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Football

Everton: Attention Spurs Fans - You Do NOT Want David Moyes As Your Gaffer

Seriously, he keeps he books in order and his Everton side is tactically efficient and coached properly, he just wouldn’t fit in down at Tottenham.

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Football

Liverpool: No New Stadium & A Rookie Boss - Is This The Beginning Of The End?

No longer able to compete with the big teams, finishing behind Newcastle in the Premier League, and attracting the managers of teams who were tipped for relegation at the start of last season. Are Liverpool facing the drain as a football powerhouse?

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Football

Everton End Of Season Report: Finishing Above Liverpool Fills Me With Joy

A budget signing from north of the border transformed our season at the crucial stage. We can now be optimistic about next year, and enjoy our bragging rights over Liverpool for the time being.

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Football

Liverpool vs Everton: The Toffees Can Still Be Proud Of Their Season

Everton can still take a lot of positives from this campaign, while Liverpool’s win confirms their status as a team built for the cup

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Football

Everton V Sunderland: The Toffees May Be Stronger Now But Sunderland Have Long-term Edge

Everton lie two places and two points ahead of Sunderland in the Premier League with the two clubs clashing at Goodison Park today. However a Toffee’s fan explains why the Black Cats have the better prospects for the future…

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Football

Liverpool: Kenny Dalglish Has Built The Perfect Side To Win The League In 1982

Kenny Dalglish’s tactics are a relic from a bygone age. They may win him the FA Cup this year, but Liverpool will never get close to the Premiership title playing like this.

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Football

Everton vs Arsenal: Suffering From Arteta Envy

After having the wind knocked out of their sails can Everton finish this tough season with anything to show for it, or will a lack of creative flair take its toll?

Football

Everton: Have We Squandered Our Best Chance Of Silverware Under Moyes?

Despite taking to the pitch with their strongest team, Everton still lacked creativity and killer-instinct in the crucial final stages of yesterday’s match.

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Football

Liverpool vs Everton: Moyes’ FA Cup Dreams Lead To Merseyside Misery

Everton have shown they can give the very best a run for their money so they should have had no problem with Liverpool last night. But with an FA Cup quarter-final looming The Toffees rested key men and it cost them.

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Football

How Football Fans Are Forcing The EDL Out Of Stadiums

It’s not just the FA and the clubs who are wiping out any presence of racism within football, the fans have also been instrumental in ensuring the ‘bad-old-days’ never return…

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Football

Everton Half-Term Report: ‘We Can’t Tread Water Forever’

No investment, negative tactics, and slipping down the Prem, right now is not exactly a good time to be an Everton fan.

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Football

Santa Claus Is An Everton Fan

How a Mother managed to trick her five-year-son into switching allegiances from Liverpool to Everton.

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Football

When We Were Good: Everton In 1985

The greatest time for Everton was during the 1985 season, when we briefly became one of the best clubs in the game, under the guiding hand of manager Howard Kendall.

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Football

The Greatest Goal I Ever Saw: Everton’s Graham Stuart vs Wimbledon, 1994

Everton vs Wimbledon, a relegation dogfight on the last day of the season, there’s only one thing that could settle it, a sloppy 20 yard effort from Graham Stuart….

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Football

Everton v Chelsea: The Mickey Mouse Cup Moyes Craves

It may be mocked as a meaningless trophy but having been starved of silverware since 1995, we Everton fans would love to get our hands on the Carling Cup.

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Life

The Worst Uni House I Ever Lived In Part 2: Wet Alsatian With A Stench Of Old Woman

A kitchen in every bedroom, a garden with shit for grass and a landlord with three hell hounds at his beck and call. Home, sweet uni home.

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Football

Everton vs Manchester City: The Death of the Bridesmaids’ Derby

Once Everton and Manchester City shared a common bond - we were both the second teams in our respective cities: the bridesmaids to Liverpool and Manchester United’s blushing brides. Sadly, City’s new cash injection suggests that long-standing understanding between our fans is now over.

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Football

Everton’s Jose Baxter: Please Don’t Be The New Rooney

He’s broken every youth scoring record going it looks like Everton have unearthed another special talent. But one Evertonian doesn’t want him to be special then leave, just very good and stay.

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Football

No Money, No Hope: The Everton Fans’ Guide To The Transfer Window

With a lack of spending power in the transfer market, and the need to sell some of their best players, one fan thinks things aren’t looking too rosy for Everton next season…

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Football

Off With His Head! An Everton Fan On Liverpool’s King Kenny

‘King’ Kenny’s return to full-time management hasn’t been greeted with delight from all quarters of Merseyside. An Evertonian hopes the crown begins to slip.

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Football

Everton End Of Term Report: Well, At Least We Smashed Liverpool 2-0

A largely disappointing campaign for Everton as they once again stuttered from the start then struggled throughout with injuries and a lack of firepower. There were however some high points to savour.

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Football

Only Colonel Gaddafi Can Save Everton From Mediocrity

Yes, he’s an innocent-slaughtering warlord with a face like a deflated beach-ball, but as the richest, and most famous, Everton fan, I’d accept him with open arms…

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