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16.04 Apparently Fifa have spent an astonishing £10m on today’s draw. A quarter of that on a big tent (clearly Blatter hasn’t heard of Habitat).

16.07 Official build-up video showing Mandela holding the World Cup as South Africa are announced as 2010 hosts. Fifa don’t miss a trick do they!

16.12 The organising committee are subjecting (sorry, treating) those assembled to some popular Brazilian music. Alcione and Emicida with a delightful rendition; just goes to show, you can’t start any draw with some naff music to butter up the audience first.

16.15 Stunning images of Brazil’s beautiful natural scenery are being shown to the audience. Strangely, Sepp and co. decided to play that rather than a video of all the concrete-ridden unfinished stadiums. Funny that.

16.16 Without taking the mick too much, genuinely happy that England are going to be playing in a World Cup which is taking place where football is perhaps treasured most.

16.18 Seb you dirty old perv!

Genius marketing by his PR team…

Big Papa Sepp has arrived… pic.twitter.com/gy3N8mhEKN

— dirtytackle (@BrooksDT) December 6, 2013

16.21 I wonder how long before they wheel out Pele for a standing ovation. Talking of standing ovations, let’s remind ourselves of this fantastic ad campaign the great man once did…

16.27 Reports that Jonathan Pearce is pretending that he can understand Portuguese and is attempting to live translate what the presenters are saying… I cannot get the concept of a Brazilian Sir. Killalot out of my head now.

16.28 A Fifa video depicting all the most potent memories from World Cups past… All teeing the draw up very nicely.

16.32 Vicente Del Bosque brings the World Cup on stage, stating Spain’s ambitions to win it again but how it’s going to be tough. Well, durrr. Quickly herded off so they can play more videos of Brazil smashing opponents.

16.35 The BBC coverage has started. The floating green and yellow studio background looks like a camp Minority Report keyboard in full flow. At least it distracts from Alan Shearer’s dulcet tones.

16.38 So, to recap, these are the pots.

Pot One: Brazil, Spain, Argentina, Belgium, Colombia, Germany, Switzerland, Uruguay.

Pot Two: Ivory Coast, Ghana, Algeria, Nigeria, Cameroon, Chile, Ecuador.

Pot Three: Japan, Iran, South Korea, Australia, USA, Mexico, Costa Rica, Honduras.

Pot Four: Bosnia-Herzegovina, Croatia, England, Greece, Italy, Holland, Portugal, Russia, France.

16.39 Fat Ronaldo waddles on the stage to talk about the football. Poor chap looks like he’s stuffed several of them underneath his shirt.

16.41 Sep Blatter strategically placing his hands over his zipper?

Producer on earpiece: “Eyes front, Sepp. Just keep looking straight.” http://t.co/t5tI3KsU6w pic.twitter.com/YNXKvyUf9Y

— Mirror Football (@MirrorFootball) December 6, 2013

16.45 Lineker, Martinez and Shearer discussing Brazil’s Confederation’s Cup triumph over Spain; if Neymar clicks, Brazil’s lowly world ranking will mean naff all. Huge pressure on the young man though.

16.47 Easy to forget that Colombia were second in the South American qualifying. Anyone who thinks that Falcao is at the head of a one man team is in for a nasty shock…

16.49 WOY ALERT: BBC interview with the England manager as he relaxes in a stripey shirt at a nice 5 star resort. He looks like a downtrodden Home Counties businessman escaping on a golf holiday to get away from his nagging wife. But you have to admire his pragmatism and intelligence, a steady pair of hands will be needed next summer if we’re to progress with one of the weakest England teams of recent times.

16.53 Cafu has walked on stage with what can only be called as the most uncanny Macy Gray lookalike of all time.

16.55 The explanation process of ‘Pot X’ and all the other quirks is well under way. Lots of blank faces in the audience…

16.55 Also lots of bigging up of ‘Pot X’. The attractive young lady presenting this seems entranced by ‘Pot X’. The other male presenter sounds like he’d be more interested by the idea of a Pot Noodle.

16.57 Spain in Group B. World champions can’t play Brazil until the final, if they win their group.

16.59 Colombia team C1. Uruguay, 6th ranked, D1. Switzerland, the poorest of Pot One, E1. Argentina F1. Germany G1, so Belgium heading up Group H. All of Pot One are now decided.

17.02 Italy in Group D with Uruguay, strong two there.

17.05 Chile in Group B with Spain, and start in Cuiaba, famous for its hot surroundings. Cameroon in Group A with Brazil. Jonathan Pearce beginning to sound like a confused grandad who you’re trying to explain Wifi to. Ecuador in Group E with Switzerland.

17.07 Ivory Coast in with Colombia, who start on Recife on the coast. Nigeria in with Argentina.

17.08 Ghana in Group G with Germany, bit of a Boateng brothers reunion perhaps?

17.09 Halfway through! Belgium kicking off against Algeria in first match of Group H. Mexico in with Brazil and Cameroon in Group A. Mexico have had four managers in six weeks, which makes Venky’s hiring regime at Blackburn look positively stable.

17.10 Australia in Group B with Spain and Chile. Japan in with Colombia and Ivory Coast.

17.12 Costa Rica in with Uruguay and Italy in Group D.