Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?Sabotage Times, We can't Concentrate so Why Should You?

image

Saboteur Profile

See all Saboteurs

Dina Murphy

Sabotaging since 11 Nov 2010

Dina has just turned thirty, and will admit to having a self-implosion around that time. She is pathetically lacking in drive and motivation, but is good at miming to the ‘Dreamgirls’ soundtrack with an empty can of Ellnet. The dream, of course, is to be a successful writer. The reality is that she will probably always just be offensive and get escorted out of cafes; but, as John Merrick once said, ‘all attention is good attention’. At least, that’s what it sounded like. In reality, it was probably something more like, ‘Let me out of this cage and stop poking me with twigs’. So, you know, someone should probably pull The New Penguin Dictionary of Quotations on that one..

My Articles

Article Image
Hardware

The Orgasm Alarm Clock

“The Little Rooster Alarm Clock curves comfortably around your pubic mound, inside your knickers but outside your body, and the vibrating leg rests between your legs.” Quite…

9
Article Image
Travel

5 Things Every Commuter Fears

Like it or lump it, the daily commute is as necessary a part of the working ritual as photocopying your arse at the staff party. That said though, there are a few things in particular that will send a shiver down the spine of even the most hardened straphanger.

5
Article Image
Life

Show Me How: If QVC Did Sex Guides…

If QVC did sex guides they’d me much like the new very online phenomenon Show Me How which for £2.00 will tell you precisely how to have it off standing up without falling over.

2
Article Image
Life

5 Things I Swore I’d Never Do When I Became A Parent

I was adamant, adamant that I wouldn’t be on of THOSE parents. How wrong I was…

48
Article Image
Books

Ethel and Ernest: The Most Heartwarming Graphic Novel You’ll Read

With graphic novels full of murder and death, Brigg’s contribution is a pleasant escape.

Article Image
People

From Liberia to Libya, Tim Hetherington Set the Bar of Photojournalism

How the late Tim Hetherington made me look at photography in a new light and raised the bar for photojournalists everywhere…

3
Article Image
Life

How Breaking Up For Greener Grass Made Me a Criminal

Breaking up may seem like the best thing to do, but how do you cope when your ex crops up looking thinner, happier and more successful than you?

35
Article Image
People

You’re Not A Wacky ‘Character’. You’re A Twat

Everybody knows at least one. Be it the bloke who vomits out of the taxi window, or the girl who apparently made ‘that video’.

52
Article Image
Books

10 Great Stories For Children Under 7

If your children are anything like mine, they’re happiest when they’re curled up listening to your repertoire of silly voices. Here are some of our favourite stories for laughs, questions and hopefully, sleep.

5
Article Image
Life

Merry Sodding Christmas

To me, Christmas is a big pile of knackers that over-promises and under-delivers. So spare a though for me when you and Aunt Clarice are bonding over the port.

3
Article Image
Funny

Why Office Parties Are Shit

Drink copious amounts of alcohol just to bear the pointless smalltalk, and spend a night in the company of people you hate. Office parties can get to fuck…

5
Article Image
TV

The Voice: Semi-Final Contestants Reviewed

A Damian Rice rap, more Elvis Presley references from Tom Jones and Evil Toni. It’s semi-final week on The Voice…

Article Image
Sex

Sex, Lies and Rinsing Guys: The Cold, Dead Eyes of a Shark

A new series began on C4 last night following the tactics of three golddiggers as they manipulate horny and very wealthy men relieving them of their cash and nothing else…

30
Article Image
TV

The Voice: X Factor Without the Best Bits

There’s no embarrassing audition processes to watch on this show, only Tom Jones making his comeback as a tanned Orvil from the valleys.

Article Image
Food and Drink

Masterchef 2012, Day Three: Like Watching Big Ted Drown In A Pool Of Acid

Panic stations hit overdrive as Masterchef thunders onwards. Can the contestants survive such fierce, crippling expectations?

Article Image
TV

My Daughter The Teenage Nudist: Be Happy, Get Naked, Don’t Ram It Down My Throat

I admire nudists. I spend hours wrestling a swimming costume on under a sarong and then wear it on top. So good on you, Mollie, just stop the preaching…

31
Article Image
TV

Desperate Scousewives: TOWIE Without The Heart

Where as TOWIE had a heart beneath its trashy veneer, only a mother could care about a woman who takes four hours to get ready to go shopping.

8
Article Image
TV

X Factor Results, Week 15: Dull As A Sloth Eating Graph Paper

Olly gets upstaged by The Muppets, Kelly breaks down and someone seems to have swapped Tulisa for a Russian escort…

6
Article Image
Film

X Factor 2011, Judges Houses: Bring Out The Gimps

There was an elephant in the room (steady on -Ed) in the shape of Beyonce and Louis could barely hide his contempt at being lumbered with Sinitta. And as for Robbie, he just can’t help himself, can he?

2
Article Image
Film

The X Factor 2011, Week One: Dig The New Breed

They’re back! Sort of. Gary Barlow seems to be trying too hard to emulate Cowell, Louis is as annoying as ever and Tulisa is much better than Cheryl…

10
Article Image
Film

Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance

As a parent with a two-year old who thinks she’s a mix of Mike Tyson and Buce Lee, I’ve got a vested interest in this programme. But will it help?

9
Article Image
Film

Embarrassing Bodies; Another Wonky Week.

This week, our intrepid quacks get stuck into a bendy cock, an escaping brain and a mammary representation of Homer Simpson’s face.

4
Article Image
Film

Embarrassing Bodies: The Good, The Bad and The Incontinent

‘There’s no shame, we’re all the same’ says the blurb for Channel 4′s Embarrassing Bodies. Well I don’t know about you, but I don’t have knockers like Spaniel’s Ears…

2
Article Image
Film

The Apprentice 2010: The Final

Chris v Stella in a boozy battle to win over Lord sugar. Cue triangular bottles, bad colouring, rubbish adverts and Joanna re-branding the colour blue as ‘gay’. And where the hell was Baggs the brand?

7
Article Image
Film

Apprentice 2010: Week 11 – The Interviews

It was the episode we had all been waiting for, when Lord Sugar’s henchmen got to interrogate the fools and Baggs the Brand finally got his comeuppance. Sweet.

10
Article Image
Film

X Factor Live Show Week 9: Club Classics

In Simon Cowell’s world, a song has to only be conceived to be thought of as a ‘classic’. But at least he lives in the real (ish) world, unlike Louis, who is descending further into madness…

2
Article Image
Film

X Factor Live Show Week 8: Rock Night

Rock night got off to a big bang with Wagner proclaiming himself to a be a creep, but if you managed to miss this week’s installment of X Factor don’t worry because you can catch up right here.

5
Close
Please support the site
By clicking any of these buttons you help our site to get better