The World's Best Bicuits

The Germans have their cake, the Americans their cookies and we have our biscuits. I know which I’d rather have a tin or a packet of on a rainy afternoon in Blighty.
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The Germans have their cake, the Americans their cookies and we have our biscuits. I know which I’d rather have a tin or a packet of on a rainy afternoon in Blighty.

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The Germans have their cake, the Americans their cookies and we have our biscuits. I know which I’d rather have a tin or a packet of on a rainy afternoon in Blighty.

Biscuits are part of the national lifeline. Pretty much all our ills can be soothed with that classic duo: the cup of tea and a biscuit. If you need medical proof of this let me suggest this, which has the larger display in the supermarket? Exactly.

Our national love of biscuits is truly reflected in the full diversity of biscuits on offer. From wafers to chocolate to fingers to ones with jam or cream in them. Brown ones, yellow ones, pinks ones, iced ones. Biscuits you suck, dunk, crunch or nibble. Square ones, round ones, double layered ones, oblong ones. Are they not the most versatile foodstuff known to man? Even Prince Charles has his own brand of biscuits with Duchy Originals.

Biscuits are the ultimate comfort food, the staple that sandwiches your life, the young and the elderly are dependent on them.

Biscuits are the ultimate comfort food, the staple that sandwiches your life, the young and the elderly are dependent on them as the instant snack. That early yearning for a biscuit stays with you for the rest of your life.

Who hasn’t prised the top layer off a Bourbon with their teeth and then gnawed two ski-tracks down the middle of the filling just because you can? Who hasn’t ripped the lid off of a Christmas biscuit selection tin and marvelled in awe at the sight before you? Who hasn’t demolished a box of Jaffa Cakes in seconds and wondered where the hell they’ve gone?

Penguins, Viscounts, Blue Ribands, Club Biscuits all hide themselves behind wrappers, daring you to unpeel them and devour them. So let’s take a moment to salute them. They are biscuits, we love them. They should have massive ones in the national art galleries.

Here are some of our favourites, what are yours?

  1. Bourbon
  2. Malted Milk
  3. Chocolate covered Malted Milk
  4. Chocolate Digestives
  5. Wholewheat Oatens
  6. Chocolate Fingers
  7. Pink wafers
  8. Hobnobs
  9. Choco Leibniz
  10. Digestives
  11. Sports Biscuits
  12. Garibaldi

Writes James Brown

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