The Women We All Secretly Fancy, Part 3
It can't just be me...
The Posh Woman From Gogglebox
Watching these two sat in their country manor, drunkenly chortling their way through the week’s telly is one of the highlights of my week. You could pretty much guarantee that on a Winters’ evening after a couple of bottles of a full bodied claret in the local with Dom, washed down with a few sherries and a brisk walk, he’d actually invite you to bang his Mrs, just for a bloody good laugh. You wouldn’t even need to ask.
Mutya Bueuna
Yes, her from the Sugababes. I’d love to say something macho like “I’d properly ruin her” but in reality everybody knows unless you’re Mike Tyson she’d eat you alive and leave you shivering in the corner like a puppy who’s pissed the carpet. The sort of woman you’d have to spend a few weeks training for. If you’re not bringing your A game you’re going to get hurt. Headlocks, all sorts. The places she’d stick a WKD bottle don’t bear thinking about.
Alice Bhandukravi
The BBC have excelled themselves with Miss Bhandukravi. She’s hotter than the bottom of my laptop after watching BBC London news in slow motion for the 19th time in a row. She’s like the girl at school who everyone fancied but nobody had the intelligence to properly chat up, you couldn’t just pass her a note in Science that says “DO YOU GIVE BARRYS? Y/N?” You had to get inside her mind, make her laugh, be witty. It’d be worth it thought because she looks pure filth.
The Google Analytics Woman
It might be down to the fact that she’s usually the first female face I see in the morning, but the way she stares at me through the screen, with her silky blonde hair tumbling onto her Jane Norman middle-management-suited shoulders, “I can see your website traffic growing from here” she seems to say with a wink. She’d be straight in the office stationary cupboard (of the internet) and shown a thing or two about keywords and referrals.
Julia Bradbury
If you squint, and you’re drunk, BBC2′s popular TV show ‘Julia Bradbury’s Canal Walks’ looks a bit like ‘Julia Bradbury’s Anal Wanks’. To be honest when it’s one in the morning and your Sky’s been cut off, you’ve got to make do with what you’ve got.
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The 10 Women We All Secretly Fancy
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COMMENTS
The Posh Woman From Gogglebox would get it left, right and centre.
I reckon she'd bum you given the chance. Not that i've thought about it or anything.
Now you're talking...
MMmmmmm Pimms O'Cock
Sorry but eh....Edwina Curry anyone? (ever so sorry about that)
Dark shame on this one but here goes....Audrey Forbes Hamilton from 'To the Manor Born
You must be fucking tripping?
I'd so analise Katie Hopkins, well in fact me and Louise Mench would DP her. While we were tripping. Audrey Forbes Hamilton would take on camcorder duties being a bit old now
Fuck SB...that is bad!! I'll store it up for a wank later (I'll try and work Audrey and Edwina in on the action too)
No mention of Tina Fey? Are you gay or something???
Redroar, you are blessed with wisdom.
Watching the re runs of To The Manor Born, Audrey has huge porkies
*pokies