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Jordan Waller

Sabotaging since 2 Feb 2011

Jordan Waller is a bearded freelance journalist and Yorkshireman that collects vinyl records and embarrassing moments. A skinny short-sighted former child magician he’s often described as looking ‘a bit French.’ He’s written for Esquire, FHM and Empire and is Agent2 Magazine’s music editor-at-large. Broadcaster Jon Snow once clutched his shoulder and said, “Are we alright baby?” To date, this was the greatest single moment of his life. He spends most of his time thinking about, but never actually doing, stand-up comedy. You can read his blog at www.jordanwaller.tumblr.com and follow him on twitter @jordanwaller.

My Articles

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Film

The Crow: A Tribute To The Underappreciated Genius Of Brandon Lee

On what would have been Brandon Lee’s 47th birthday we pay tribute to his final and arguably most pivotal performance in The Crow.

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Music

My Love Affair With Newcastle’s Beatdown Records

From quirky regulars to wisened store clerks and part-time jobs paid in vinyl. How Beatdown Records started my love affair with records…

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Music

V Festival: A Chav Paradise

The music festival for people that don’t actually like music but still want to say that they’ve been to a music festival.

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Video Games

The Greatest Video Game I Ever Played: Streets of Rage

Characters named after porn stars, a badass soundtrack and a city in turmoil. Video game violence never seemed so fun.

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TV

Donald Duck: 6 Reasons To Hate The Warped Murderer

An anti-semite ball of rage who dresses like a five-year-old. The game is up duck…

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Fashion & Style

Plan B And The Defamation Of Band T-Shirts

From Plan B inadvertently supporting skinheads to the Ramones on a Saturday night, how band t-shirts have lost their cool.

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People

I Really Hate Ryan Gosling

Ryan Gosling can currently be found wowing audiences around the world with his performances in Drive and Crazy Stupid Love, but that doesn’t mean I should like him…

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Life

A Northerner’s Guide To Living In London

From expenses to keeping up with the commute, being a Northerner in the capital can often be quite the struggle…

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Fashion & Style

Style Thief: Rocky Balboa

Sly wasn’t just the king of the ring these classic films, he was also lurking in the shadows as a surprising fashion icon.

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People

Not So Foxy Knoxy: Is Amanda Knox As Hot As She’s Made Out To Be?

The media are still quick to frame Amanda Knox as a Black-Widow Beauty - but is she as gorgeous as they say?

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Funny

The Consequences Of Burglary

Last year, after being burgled, I was chatting to the window fitter about other burglaries we had both known. Then, to my shock, he revealed that one of his mates had caught a burglar and, well, ‘burgled’ him…

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People

Harry Houdini: The Man That Could Not Be Held

A look at the life and legacy of The Great Houdini who would have been 139-years-old this year had he managed to magic himself out of death that is…

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Life

Instagram: Quit Moaning, Your Twee “Photos” Are Worthless Anyway

Honestly, if the idea of people looking at your photographs for free really bothers you then you should probably reconsider joining a photography based social network…

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Fashion & Style

Cuff Links For Wannabe Spies

Ever found yourself in a James Bond-style kidnapping situation with no means to escape? Probably not, but if you did you’d probably want something like this.

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Fashion & Style

Nail Polish Will Get Men Laid

Are you struggling to get sex and/or emerge victorious from pub brawls? Well, clearly you’re not wearing enough nail varnish. That is, according to the amazing Alpha Nail website…

Fashion & Style

5 Boots To Get You Through The Floods

The winter months are upon us, and we don’t want you to go out and ruin your lovely suede trainers in the rain, so here are five boots that caught our eye that will also keep you dry…

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Fashion & Style

It Musto Be Time For Jumpers and Coats Again

Chunky knit, peacoats and wax jackets. Being an old seadog never looked so good. Here’s what to keep warm in this winter…

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Football

Adidas Copa Mundial – The Only Football Boot You’ll Ever Need

The classic, no-nonsense football boot. As worn by Beckenbauer, Tardelli, Maradona and erm… Matthew Upson.

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Fashion & Style

Get The On The Road Look

Kerouac’s seminal work has just been released on the big screen, and it’s getting almost as much attention for the style as the script…

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Hardware

Sex Up Your iPhone Or iPad With Miniot’s Glorious Wooden Cases

Broken screens are a menace to all Apple aficionados, and a new set of cases from Miniot are protecting the modesty of iPhones across the planet…

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Fashion & Style

Bagel Head: The Bizarre New Japanese Fashion Trend

Been tattooed? Had your ear pierced? These are all old news now. Take the next logical step and get a bagel put in your forehead….

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Life

The Day I Tried Tripe

I was interviewing the nose-to-tail legendary chef Fergus Henderson and he wouldn’t stop banging on about tripe, so next time I saw it on the menu I ordered it. Holy mother of christ it was hideous…

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Fashion & Style

Lacoste Platinum And Foot Locker Get Mashed Up

Over the next few weeks, to mark the launch of the Lacoste Tabor White and Lacoste Centara Black we’ll be interviewing some of the hottest street stars…

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Fashion & Style

100 Beards: The Search For London’s Finest Facial Furniture

Beards are awesome. To celebrate the resurgence of the face warmer photographer Jonathan Daniel Pryce has been shooting the Capital’s furry freak brothers.

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Fashion & Style

Wheel-Washed Denim Skatewear For Grown-Ups

Ordinarily when you think about skater brands you think oversized T-shirts, clunky shoes and mischievous teens kicking around fountains in shopping centres. Thinks again, Analog are much more refined…

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Hardware

The Anatomy Of Lego Men

Ever wondered what Lego men look underneath their ace outfits and yellow bodies? Here are the answers…

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Fashion & Style

A Very British Cycling Bag

Brooks England’s saddle bag collection, splicing World War chic and dapper British styling for the practical yet image conscious bike aficionado.

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Fashion & Style

Hush Puppies Get A 50s Revamp From Hemingway

The British brand is revamping its image with a premium shoe partnership with Jack Hemingway…

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Life

Marathon Man: Why after years of denial, extra helpings at dinner and hiding from exercise, I have decided to take the plunge.

We’ve all stood in the mirror and had that talk to ourselves, making promises to return to the svelte Adonis we once were. If only it was as easy as that . . .

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Music

5 Music Acts To Say You Knew About First In 2012

With 2012 eagerly twitching on its starting blocks it’s time to turn our heads towards the music makers we will be publicly lauding and bumping ugly to in the coming year.

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Fashion & Style

Got Sole?

Brightly coloured soles, our picks for the love it or loath it footwear trend that will be the big thing this summer.

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Hardware

The Skinny Black Bike From Orange Bolt

An uber cool fixed wheel cycle that for once is as functionable as it is stylish.

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Fashion & Style

Paul Smith Festival Gear

Planning a festival trip any time soon? Check out Paul Smith latest additions to get us through the British summer.

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Hardware

The iPad For The Person Who Has Everything

Tired of boring normal iPads that just look the same as everybody else’s? Want something with a little more class and razzmataz?

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Fashion & Style

Five Designer Sunglasses To Match Any Face

It’s summer - so get your specs on! Whether you have a perfect oval face fit for any pair of sunglasses or you’re forever hexed by a sun blocking forehead, here’s a guide to getting the right pair of sun shades for you.

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Hardware

Serious About Vinyl?

If you believe that a vinyl record and equally it’s turntable should be respected as something of a work of art then this luxury record player might be just what you are looking for.

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Fashion & Style

YMC Gloverall Jacket: Get The Submarine Look

Submarine, the directorial debut of Richard Ayoade has currently got tongues wagging for numerous brilliant reasons, none less pertinent perhaps than protagonist, Oliver Tate’s duffel coat.

Fashion & Style

Support Japan With Paul Smith

With the hot sun blazing above us it’s high time to start investing in some new t-shirts for the impending summer months and there is no better place to begin than with this new Paul Smith charity design.

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Fashion & Style

The Everyman Guide To Leather Jackets

As far as masculine items of clothing go, the leather jacket is pretty much at the top of the style tree. Buy the right one and you’re on a one way street to James Dean levels of cool, get it wrong and you’re a Village People reject.

Hardware

The Top 5 Alternative Electric Guitars

From the storm brewing ESP Explorer to the trippy sustains of the Yamaha SG2000, five overlooked rock guitars that are worth checking out.

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Fashion & Style

Step Away From The Production Line With Super Superficial

If you’re sick of Topman robots in their cookie-cut t-shirts get down to one of the Super Superficial stores for some new clobber that won’t break the bank.

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Fashion & Style

A Hybrid Desert Boot

As heavy-duty as classic Doc Martens with the good looks of a Desert Boot, Marni has hit the nail on the footwear head.

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Fashion & Style

What Does Your Wallet Say About You?

The wallet. Every man has one, every man needs one. In fact, I would perhaps even go as far as arguing that they are the most essential item that a man owns, and yet so many of us seem to get this important piece wrong.

Fashion & Style

The Ramsey Coat: An Instant Classic

If you’re looking for a twist on the classic Macintosh, check out this Alf Ramsey-inspired beauty from B Store

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Music

5 Music Acts To Love This Year (And Possibly Hate By Next)

Want to know who everyone will be frothing at the gills at next year’s Brits? Check out this lot who are set to become the next big things…

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